Buena Mano Book 1 (Unedited/Unrevised)

I'm O-Ok... Chapter 5.2 The Tainted Flower

I slept early that evening with the hope that some other idea would pop in my head in the morning. The sight of my school weighed heavily on me. The memories came at me like a bullet escaping the chamber's grasp. A lingering dream intertwined with reality that I could not accept.

Upon the first few hours lying in my bed, I felt uneasy. It was as if someone was watching me while I closed my eyes trying to stop the thoughts and go to sleep. The thought grew more and more as I heard faint but unmistakable breath near my door.

It creaked.

I'm not sure why exactly did I not get up and investigate. Maybe I was scared or just too lazy to. My bed feels so comfortable; I could not part with it.

Another hour passed and I slept soundly. Fatigue took over and knocked me out cold. As it did, I dreamt of nothing but Rachel. My sweet Rachel. We were together at last and we were happily sitting on our favourite spot under the tree in the school grounds. We were both in our school uniforms: A white blouse with a striped tie underneath a black blazer with the school logo in its left flap and a chequered skirt matching the colours of our tie.

Fallen leaves made the ground soft and very comfortable. Their lush orange colour clashes with the colour of her eyes. It makes them look surreal. Long flowing hair, just past her shoulders, smelled like jasmine with the hint of green tea.

I could look at her for eternity as she smiled at me. Holding my hand gently then sliding her warm and smooth palm upon my own. She was mine and I, hers. Indeed, for an instant, I was in heaven.

Yes, heaven...

But this heaven is just an illusion. This was just an illusion. Created by my wanting of her, my thoughts conspired against me. Ridiculing me, twisting against my wills and portraying what I desire.

By the time the idea of the truth of this paradise wrung through my head, my mind began to fall to its abyss. As if by some joke played by the universe upon my memories the ground beneath us shook and tore a rift between us.

I tried to reach out to her but the gap was far too wide. The dark void between us seemed like it fell towards oblivion. I looked left and right to find a way across but the world itself was halved. As I look back to her, I saw that emotionless face again. That face I remembered and hated the most.

I saw her lips move but could not hear any sound coming from it.

"What?" I asked her. "I can't hear you?"

She looked at me with glaring eyes and shouted. "I DON'T NEED YOU!"

I woke up from the dream sweating like crazy. Even though the cold breeze from my window engulfed the room, it couldn't penetrate my burning emotions. The tears from my eyes welled up as I sat up. I felt them beginning to fall, it was painful but it had given me comfort that what I saw was just a dream.

I cried my heart out and began to pray. Pray to the lord to tell me where she was. Asking him, ordering him, pleading with him to point me to her. In silence, I cried. The maddening sounds of my loneliness began to bear upon my shoulders.

A few minutes later, I calmed down. Looking at the window, seemingly trying to pierce the veil of reality, I tried to imagine seeing her sitting in my windowsill watching the people from our neighbourhood sleep soundly as the night goes on. Occasionally, she keeps looking at me smiling as if nothing has happened.

Only to disappear from the bright headlight of a passing car hitting against the window's glass.

"Rachel. Wait for me. Wait for me and we'll be together again." I said as I wiped the tears with my blanket. "I promise."

I didn't notice at that time...

I went to sleep after I finished cleaning my face. Still feeling someone was watching me.

At around 9 am, I woke up and fixed my bed. I missed breakfast and the drama between me and my mother. They went out, apparently while I was asleep. I didn't know where they had gone nor did they leave me a note.

I wasn't hungry. The table was clean so I took the time to layout my plan. The first thing is to find out whatever I can about Rachel. Be it a small lead or not, I just hope there's someone else out there who is looking for her.

I need to talk to her relatives on her whereabouts or any clues to point me to the right direction.

If ever I find her I need to talk to her, assuming she is well, and confirm with my own eyes that she is, in fact, safe. I didn't want to look at the problem pessimistically. It saddened me with just a sliver of thought of her unwell and it completely destroys my flow of thoughts. Hopefully, I assumed that would be it. Maybe apologies as well...

"But that would be if I could keep these emotions in check. I'm starting to hallucinate." I said to myself as I write down on the pages. I got up and took out a pitcher of mango juice from the refrigerator. Poured it into a glass and drunk enthusiastically. It jolted my brain and I felt ready for the hunt. I went upstairs and put on my everyday clothes. Jeans and a white blouse.

I psyched myself and uplifted my spirits. It was necessary, if ever I wanted my quest to succeed.

Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate. At first, I thought it was my father who sent me a message, explaining where they have gone. But as I clicked the keys to open the message, I noticed it came from an unknown source. The phone number wasn't listed in any of my contact list.

I looked at the message but it was blank. I thought it was just a mistake and disregarded it for the time being.

I placed my phone in the left pocket of my jeans and went out of the front door.