Forbidden Desires

[4]

We're having our first subject-- which is Science. Our teacher keeps on blabbering about stuff I don't know and I don't even care about. I looked back 4 seats away from mine, but no Jongin is found. Where the hell is he? I'm getting so worried that I can't even sit properly. 

But my spirits started to rise when someone opened the door harshly.
It was Jongin. 

But my spirits started to go down to hell when I saw his eyes. It was so red and so fucking puffy. His uniform was crumpled up. His face was serious, not smiling and not frowning at all. I can't read the look on his face. What happened to him? 

"MR. KIM JONGIN, WHY ARE YOU LATE FOR MY CLASS? PLEASE EXPLAIN YOURSELF." Miss Seung crossed her arms as she looked at Jongin with furious eyes, but Jongin just walked to his seat and sat down. He didn't mind Miss Seung's words so he just plopped his head down on his desk. 

I assume that Miss Seung gave up on blabbering and lecturing 'cause she suddenly looked at Baekhyun, Chanyeol and I. "Mr. Byun, Mr. Park, and Mr. Do, please talk to Jongin outside. I know that you guys are his close friends so maybe, you'll be able to make him feel better." We just gave her a nod and went to Jongin's side. 

Damn it took a lot of strength before we could get his ass off his seat. He didn't want to get up, but because of our encouragement, we finally got him outside! We're basically at the bench near the clinic, we pushed him so he could sit down. 

"Damn Jongin! What the hell is your problem?!" I said in a moderate yet clear voice. He just looked away and didn't gave me a reply. Meanwhile, Chanyeol and Baek just sat beside him and started to pat his back. 

"Look, Jongin. We know that you're not going to give us a reply but whatever's bothering you, don't let it get to you. Is this about you and Krystal? If it is, just please forget about her. If she does--" 

Before I could even finish my sentence, he cut me off and stood up. "FUCK IT KYUNGSOO! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A HEARTBREAK IS! YOU DON'T KNOW THE FEELING OF YOUR HEART GETTING BROKEN! TELL ME KYUNGSOO, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THIS DEEP? IF NOT, THEN SHUT THE FUCK--" 

I started to get teary eyed. This is not Kim Jongin at all. This is not like him at all. "YES JONGIN! I ALREADY FELL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE JUST LIKE YOU. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH?! I LIKE-- NO, I LOVE SOMEONE. THAT PERSON IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. I'VE LIKED HIM EVER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. THAT PERSON MY BEST FRIEND, AND I LOVED THAT PERSON SO MUCH. NOT JUST IN A FRIENDLY WAY, BUT IN A ROMANTIC KIND OF WAY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? THAT PERSON LOVES SOMEONE ELSE. THAT PERSON HURT ME. THAT PERSON CHANGED INTO A MONSTER. YOU WANNA KNOW WHO IT IS?!" 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol started to go to my side. That's when I realized that hot tears were flowing and rushing down on my cheeks. 

Silence Occured. It took a couple of minutes for me to speak because Jongin was looking at me intently. 

I suddenly spoke softly. "It's you, Jongin."

All of them were looking at me. No one is smiling, no one is happy. This is the first time when I let out my feelings. 

"Jongin... I have loved you ever since. But did you ever returned the feeling?" I chuckled bitterly. "I guess not. Well it's no use in being so damn dramatic and telling my feelings to you because YOU. DON'T. EVEN. CARE." 

I started to wipe my tears from my cheek "Anyway, this is about you, not me. So... I hope you're gonna be okay. Chanyeol, Baekhyun and... I, are here for you." 

Without another word, I walked away from them.

I guess I'm just going to cut classes since I don't feel good.