Forbidden Desires

[5]

I just got out of the school grounds. It took me a lot of begging for the guard to let me outside, but with a bit of luck, he finally let me out. And that made me feel a little bit of relief to think that Jongin nor the other two won't be able to run after me anymore.

I just wanted to be alone.
But at the same time, I want Jongin to hug me from behind and tell me the sweetest words than one human being could ever hear.

Sadly, he couldn't even build up the courage to hold my hand-- even though if it meant friendship.

I don't know whether I should go home or not. I just want to go somewhere I could be alone.

JONGIN'S POV

I messed up this time, like-- REALLY MESSED UP THIS TIME. I didn't mean to say those hurtful and harsh words to Kyungsoo... I was just-- ARGH! I'm just so fucked up that I don't know what to say and do anymore. I feel like I'm starting to lose everything. I lost my girlfriend, my family and now my friends?

Hooray, Kim Jongin.

"I can't believe you asked Kyungsoo to shut the fuck up. You never curse at him." Baekhyun stated

My hands went up to my hair and strangled it evenly. "I was just so hurt that i don't know what came out of this mouth of mine."

Baekhyun and Chanyeol stared at me.

I let out a heavy sigh "Look guys. I didn't and never planned to hurt Kyungsoo with my knife-like words. He's my friend and I don't want him to feel bad nor cry because of me. Sadly, I unknowingly did that. Now I feel guilty as hell."

Baekhyun and Chanyeol just gave me a disappointed look. I don't even know how to fix this crap I made. When Krystal and I were together, I started to act coldly towards other people-- especially to my three friends who treasured me. I hurt them too much and now that Krystal and I broke up, it may be time to fix the crap I made. But how? Tell me how do I fucking start?

How can I make it up to Baekhyun and Chanyeol?

Especially to Kyungsoo?

After what seemed like years of staring and explaining, The both of them started to bid their goodbyes to me.

"See you around, Jongin." Baekhyun held Chanyeol's hand and smiled a bit "We'll try to call Kyungsoo. He's probably at home. He can't go anywhere besides that, right?"

I stood up to let them know that I agree. "Thanks. I'll be the one to find him. I'll fix this."

"We trust you." They gave me a nod and left.
I felt myself worry.

I went to his house first, since that is one of the places he'll certainly go to. I know Kyungsoo. He doesn't want to go anywhere unless Baek and Yeol are there.

His house had no gate and it didn't have a second floor, so it was easy to go inside and find him.

I went inside. Luckily, I found a spare key hidden on the pot of his plant that's located behind his house. I tried to call him out. Kyungsoo? I'm here."

No respond.
Maybe he's too hurt so he's isolating his self inside his room.

I opened his bedroom door.
But no sign of Kyungsoo.

Of course I tried to find his diary. He doesn't use hie diary anymore but maybe I'd see some of his favorite places he loves to go. Maybe just maybe, he's there.