My Other Half

16

Patricia's POV
her cute little eyes,
her eyebrows,
her small nose,
her height,
her lips,
her ears,
her hair grew a little bit longer,
her smile still captures my heart.
The last time I saw her,broke my heart. though,alam ko naman na wala akong karapatang masaktan dahil gago ako.
If you think na huli ko syang nakita was when I begged for her to forgive me,your wrong.
A month after she left,sumunod ako- kame nila Rozanne sakanya. sa Germany.
Nag stay sila dun ng 1week,ako isang buwan.
I watched her every move,her every step,her smiles, listened to her laughs,her everything. Maliban nalang sa Bathroom, di naman ako manyak noh.
Pero,sabi ko nuon,pag nakita kong masaya na sya, I will leave.
Titigilan ko na ang pag send ng messages sakanya,through mail.
The last letter that I sent her was:

Trixia,My love,
I am happy for you, I am happy-not because you're happy with someone else now, not-because it is not me who makes you smile,laugh and everything, If I can only take back time,I would never hurt you,and Marianne.
I hope for your forgiveness,
My love,
But I know,you can't love me back now,not when I cheated on you.
I apologize for my dumb actions,for my broken promises, for my selfishness and for hurting you.
I'm going back in thr Philippines next week.
I hope to see you for the last time on Thursday ,
I'll be waiting for you there, if you come, I'd wait 'till you're ready again,but if you didn't, I will let you go and wish you the best.
Itch liebe ditch,

sincerely yours, Pat.

That was the last e-mail I sent her.
*Flash back*
Im standing here in the corner of a street,where I expect her to show up at least her shadow,even just to hit or pass me by,at least I get to see her again.
But no,not a glimpse of her shadow showed up.
I've been here for the last 8 hours.
What do I expect? I hurted her,a lot.
a group of liquid started to flood my eyes,making my sight blur and then it finally fell from my eyes unto my cheeks.
It is fascinating how she affects me this way,the only one that made me cry.
Who am I kidding? She's the one,but I let go of her.
I was so dumb to hurt her.
After this,pupunta ako ng France,to atleast apologize on what I've done to Marianne,she was innocent.
I hated myself for hurting her,them.
I left a note on a post beside me.
saying.:
Im letting you go now,love please be the happiest, Je't Aime.
-Pat.
And then I walked away as tears continued to run down my cheeks.
*end of flash back*
That was it,that is how I tried to move ob,but unfortunately, I did not really moved on.
Si Marianne, she forgived me,after ko mag sorry sakanya,
She gort married to a man named Patrick Guicceli Hah,talaga naman.
We're friends na nga e... si trix nalang talaga...
"Matunaw naman ako,Pat"Trix said as she sat beside me and handed me a glass of whine,oh great I forgot andito pala kame ngayon sa party,oh rephrase that- Engagement party guess whos it is??
Xian and Fretzie's lang naman.
7months to go,and ikakasal na sila.
Si Ivan? don't expect her to be here,hindi ko alam kung nasaan sya ngayon.
Going back..
"Uh,uhm so-sorry" Sabi ko then I looked down.
Naouno ng katahimakan sa aming dalawa.
Until she looked at me and smiled.
"I was there"Bigla nyang sabi,di ko gets.
"Huh?"tanong ko.
"Never mind,tara alis tayo dito,di ko ma take si Cha at Xian"then she pulled me out ,and I found myself driving,di ko lang alam kung san kame pupunta.
Ah.. I I know a place!

Finally nakarating na kame,walang ilaw dito,walang tao at sobrang tahimik.
"Oh,bakit tayo andito?"Tanong nya sakin
"wala ka naman kase sinabi kung san mo gusto pununta"I said as I helped her out of the car.
I turned the car lights on and leaned against it,she did the same.
"Bakit ka pala nag aya?"I asked her.
"Di ko matiis makita na nag papanggap si Cha,"
"Ganun ba" and then silence flooded the thick air again.
We were just staring out of no where when she spoke.
"I know everything "She said. I looked at her,confused.
"You mean?"
She shook her head,smiling.
"Sinabi sakin ni Ivan lahat"
Ha?anong lahat?
"ah..Sorry..kungv ipinipilit nya ko sayo..''
"It's ok,Pat "She looked at me.
"are you with--"I was cutted when she screamed.
"Ah!look pat ang cute!dun tayo!"then she pulled me, dito under a tree where maybe a thousand of fireflies flying around and giving light.
"Do you still love me?"I asked out of no where,she stopped when she heard What I said.
sht sht sht! I shouldn't have asked her!
"Pat,alam mo ba nung sinabi sakin ni Ivan how miserable you were?" she paused.
"Akala ko na aawa lang ako sayo,but no hindin pala haha."she shook her head.
"I know you were there when I flew away,alam kong pinapanuod mo bawat kilos ko,how?si Ivan. "She paused again.
"Hindi ko lang nagawang makarating on time non,"Then she look at me again.
"Pat kase ang sakit dito,sobra" She said habang tinuturo yung dib dib nya.Hindi ako makapagsalita.
"Remember when you got a high fever?
I was the one who took care of you,siguro sobra nang taas nga lagnat mo non kaya di mo ko makilala,you were just lying on your bed for 5straight days,and I chose not to tell you na 'Pat ako to,si Trixia tanga pa rin sayo!' kase halos napalitan na yata ng alcohol yang dugo mo sa katawan noon na kahit yakap mo na ko,akala mo panaginip lang at wala kabg ibang ginawa kundi umiyak"Tears started to fall from her eyes,lumapit naman agad ako para punasan ito.
"Nga-Ngayon pat.. hindi ko na alam kung .."she said in between her sobs.
"Kung mahal mo pa ba ako?"Tanong ko then hugged her.
Tinulak nya ko ng medyo malakas.
"Hindi pat!hindi ko alam if your worth my trust,kase I'll be a liar if sabihin kong hindi na kita mahal"umiiyak sya,and it pains me to see her cry for me again.
"Shh..Im sorry Trix..I am sorry. "I wiped her tears
"Help me Pat,Help me figure it out"Sabi nya and gripped on the hem of my shirt.
"I will Trix,I will"I said
"You will what?"She looked at me,teary eyed.
"I will make you realize that Im worth your trust again baby,"I said then kissed her on her forehead.

I owe you a lot Pots,

Ivan's POV
Hell day & Night.
Fuck this life.
Fuck this shit.
Fuck it all.
Fuck them all.
Fuck.
Fuck!Fuck!
She's a liar.
Tangina nya.
Sinungaling.
Paasa sya!

"Wooh!tangina talaga!"I shouted ,
We're here at the roof top,kanina pa kame umiinom ni Kylene.
Sa lahat,sya lang ang nakaka alam.
Sa. lahat lahat.
kahit sa sikretong relasyon namin ni Cha.
Yes...ganon ako ka tanga para maniwalang ipagpapalit nya si Xian sa isang katulad ko.
*Flash back*
"hindi bat sinabi ko na sayo na ayaw kong lumalabas ka kasama sya?!"Sigaw nya sakin,Ano ba kasing problema nito kay Kylene?!
"bakit ba?! Ha cha?! eh ano ngayon kung lumabas kame ng dalawa lang kame?!"
"Tangina Ivan nagseselos kase ako!Manhid ka ba?!"
Shocked on what she said, napailing ako.
staring at her.
Wala akong masabi para bang nalunok ko ang dila ko.
She tried to hold my hands but I did not let her do.
I shook my head in dismay from what I heard,.
How could she do this? ilang months nalang ikakasal na sya,and Im tryingv to forget about my feelings for her,tapos biglangb ganito?
"You're impossible Cha,hah,"I said shaking my head.
"Im sorry,Ivan but it's true "She cried
"No,cha you're getting married "Sabi ko dito,
"I will break up with him,Ivan kapag sabihin mong mahal mo din ako ,please I can't imagine my life without you!"Sabi nito,naiinis ako..
bakit ganito sya? bakit kung kaylan nagiging ok na tsaka nya ko binibigyan ng dahilan para hindi kalimutan ang nararamdaman ko para sakanya?
"Ivan,say it say it!"pag pupunilit nya then hugged me tight,
Hindi ko na napigilan ang bibig ko .
"I..love you"
I notice her smile though tears are still falling from her eyes.
"We will fight for this"She said then gave me a peck,darn first time!
"We-we will..." I answered.
''Just wait for me,chubs... Wait for me,we'll work this out"then she hugged me again.
I hope so,Cha, I hope so...
*End of Flashback*
"Tangina Ivan! tumigil ka na nga!"Sigaw sakin ni Ky.
She's with me.
"Ky..di ko na kaya.."I cried and fell on my knees, I gripped on her hips as I continued to cry.
She lowered herself to me.
"Damn it..Ky sa-sabi nya.. sabi nya she won't go this far.. Sa-sabi n-nya she'll end her relationship soin.. b-but..look at what she did.."I said in between my sobs.
Parang dinudurog ng pino ang puso ko,lalo na kanina habang nakikita ko silang masayang wini welcome ang mga bisita nila.
Yung ngiting yun...gusto kong angkinin na dapat ako lang ang nakakapag pangiti sakanya ng ganoon.
pero sino bang ginagago ko?
Im a lesbian.
I can't give her a normal life, A normal family.
but Xian can.
Ano nga ba namang laban ko?
Pero di ko pa rin matanggap na pina asa nya lang ako.
Ang sakit.
Ang sakit sakit!
"shh,Ivan taha na,andito ako"Ky tried to calm me down, bakit ang unfair ko,
sya na palaging nandyan para sakin,hindi ko mapagbigyan,
samantalabg yung taong walang pakealam sa feelings ko,baliw na baliw ako at hinahabol habol ko pa?
Tanginang buhay!
Sana si Ky nalang!Sana sya nalang ang minahal ko para hindi ganito kasakit!
Parang pinipira piraso ang bawat parte ng katawan ko,ngunit higit pa don ang nararamdaman ng puso ko.
Sobrang sakit!
Paasa sya..

Pa asa...

To be continued...............