kat :: lrh (discontinued - read edited version!!)

four

I sat next to Luke awkwardly on the couch, waiting for Karen to return from her little shopping spree with my mother.

The one I wasn't invited to, of course.

Luke stared at the television and I sat and admired him. The way his lip ring hung low, the way his long legs fit into his jeans, the way his eyebrows furrowed as the show got more interesting.

I felt something for this man. I didn't want to be just his sex toy, even though he's explained to me that I wasn't, I wanted him himself with everything he has because I want to give him everything I have. I want him to love me but I know he doesn't.

Tears build in my eyes at the thought of him never loving me, at the thought of him loving Karen instead. I may seem selfish but I don't care.

"What, what?" He scoots closer, his arm going around my shoulder.

"Nothing." I mumble, scooting away from him into the corner of the couch and curling myself into a ball, letting my tears fall.

They just keep running and I keep sobbing.

"Kat, what's wrong?" Luke asks, his hand resting on my back. "What happened?"

"I'm not your girlfriend. You don't care about me, remember?" I snap. "Worry about Karen."

"Is that what this is about?" He asks, removing his hand and standing in front of me. "Well guess what? You're not my girlfriend and you never will be." He spits.

I feel a sharp pain in my chest and I stand up, my hand colliding with the skin on the side of his face, making a loud slap noise.

"You're disgusting." I cry before storming out of the room and up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me.

You're not my girlfriend and you never will be.

I don't know what I expected, but I know what I want. I want him to care about me instead of using me, my sixteen year old self, to give him a blowjob that he could get from his girlfriend, he could ask some random girl on the street and hell, she'd probably do it.

I just want him to see that I'm worth something. I want him to see that I am something and someone, a person with feelings. Hell, I want him to take care of me. I want him to see that I am here and I will always have feelings for him whether he likes it or not. I want him to listen to me and I don't want to lose the one I want, which is him.

I sob loudly, slamming my hands repeatedly against my head.

"I hate myself. I hate myself so much." I whisper to myself, and I do. I had sexual relations with my sisters boyfriend, for god sake.

My door opens and Karen storms in, her face beet red and her fists clenched at her sides.

"Don't hit my boyfriend, you hear me? Don't you ever touch him again, he's my boyfriend. Lay your goddamn hands off!" She shouts, taking me by surprise. Karen rarely ever swore, this was maybe the first time in ten years that I've heard her swear, and she is twenty one.

"You don't understand." I look up and her face sinks, her eyes filling with something I've never seen in Karen's eyes before. Sympathy.

"What happened?" She asked me, seeming as if she was confused. You've got to be shitting me.

"Just leave me alone, Karen." I cry softly. "Just get out of my room. You don't care."

She tilts her head and walks out, closing the door behind her.

Luke walks in shortly after and I stand up, my tears still running down my face.

"Kat. Katherine." Luke says angrily and grabs onto my wrist.

"Never fucking touch me!" I scream at him, snatching my wrist back from him.

He stares at me and grabs me by my waist, closing the door and locking it, pushing his lips against mine.

I desperately want to kiss him back but I don't. He doesn't deserve it. He just broke my heart and now he wants to kiss me.

"Kiss me back." Luke groans, putting his hand on the small of my back.

"No." I refuse, pulling away from him and opening my door, running down the stairs, my tears still falling. I fall to the ground and pull my knees to my face.

"Katherine, Kat." My father whispers to me. "Katherine Zoey Irwin, answer me. What is your problem?"

"Dad, just leave me alone please." I whimper, looking up at him, his curly hair falling in his face. He sits on the floor in front of me and my mother walks in.

"Ashton did you- whoa, what's going on here?" She asks.

"Can I just be left alone for five minutes?" I shout, standing up and walking out of my house. I don't know where I'm going but all I know I'm running.

Running away from Luke, my parents, Karen and all of my problems. I do not need them holding me back.

I keep running, running until I was out of breath. I stopped where I knew I could. Somewhere where their mother would not tell my mom where I was.

I walked up to the front door, my tears beginning to fall once again.

My ex-boyfriend, Calum Hood, stood in the doorway with wide eyes, his hands shoved in his pockets and before I can stop him, his lips on mine.

-

DONT WORRY THIS IS NOT MOVING TOO FAST THERE IS A LOT MORE SHIT IN STORE FOR THIS STORY

but is it good tho????

ily and have an amazing day :)