This Time, I Mean It ( Sequel to Lost In Your Hazel Eyes)

Living The Dream? More Like Living In A Nightmare

** Gerard's POV **

" Thank you , Las Vegas! And have a fucking good night!" I speak into the microphone, earning a whole lot of screams from the crowd.

I waved goodbye to some fans, wearing a fake smile on my face like I always did.  I stepped out of the stage as Frank, Ray, Mikey and Bob packed up their equipment. I went straight towards my dressing room and locked the door behind me. I collapsed on the chair in front of the mirror and grabbed the bottle of whiskey that lay on the table before me. I chugged down the strong-tasting liquid and shut my eyes tightly as I felt my head start to feel numb. The room started spinning and I dug my face into my hands. 

" Gerard? Are you okay?" Mikey asks, knocking lightly on my door.

I stare blankly into space without replying. Didn't they know by now that I wasn't okay? I look up at my face in the mirror and wipe away the make-up off my face, revealing the huge dark circles surrounding my eyes and my very pale complexion. I looked like shit. I groaned in disgust as I drowned myself in whiskey once more. 

" Gerard Arthur Way! You better open this door!" Frank says sternly, knocking on my door much harder. 

" I'm fine. I-i'm fine. Just leave me alone.." I say, running a hand through my hair and sighing. 

I get up from my chair, attempting to stand up straight but instead, i started falling all over the place. I staggered backwards and felt a piece of glass break under my foot. I look down and saw that it was a picture frame. In it was the only thing I had left of her... of Liz. It was the picture she had left behind before she ran away. I brushed off the broken glass and picked up the photograph. I held it close to my chest and I collapsed onto the floor in tears as memories of that night filled my head. 

**(Flashback)**

I just called her a slut. I just told my own girlfriend to go to hell even if i knew that Rick was the one who kissed her in the first place. The stupid alcohol made me think otherwise and now look what i've done. 

I walk into my house that night as my mom still was asleep. I left the others behind at the bar without saying a word. I tiptoed through the house, listening for any sign of Liz. I needed to apologise to her even if I knew that what I had said would never leave her memory. It killed me knowing how much i've hurt her and i've got to set things right before something bad happens to her.

I run up the stairs and into her room to see that it was empty. Completely empty. Her closet was empty. Her drawers were empty. Her guitars were nowhere to be seen. All that was left was that single photograph ontop of her bed. Our favortite photo... 

I could feel the tears fighting to get out of my system. My eyes stinged and it felt like someone was gripping my throat. I held the picture in my hands and clutched it close to my chest and sobbed into the floor. I felt like screaming her name but I couldn't. I felt like I was choking. I couldn't breathe...

She was gone. It was too late. She was gone...

** ( end of flashback) **

" Gerard! I'm coming in there in 5...4... 3..." Frank says with a panicked voice.

I snap out of my thoughts and wipe away my tears quickly. I walk towards the door and open it before Frank had the chance to kick it down. Bob, Ray, Frank and Mikey barge into my room. They all look from the photo in my hands to the empty bottle of whiskey on my desk. Mikey immediately engulfs me into a hug and so does everyone else. 

" Please just... stop doing this to yourself, Gee. Please..." Mikey says as a few tears fall down his face.

I felt a lot of guilt rush through me as I saw the pain in my little brother's eyes. I pulled him closer and kissed his forehead.

" I'm trying my best, Mikes." I say, patting his back.

" Gee, this has to stop. You have to leave the past behind. It's been two years. Do this for all of us.... for your fans." Frank says, placing an arm on my shoulder.

He's right. I've been a wreck for two years. I'd always get drunk on-stage and i'd hardly get any sleep. The guilt has always been there and I could never get rid of it but now, I really had to let this go. I have to be strong. I can't jeopardize my career because of this depression. Not now while we've gone this far.  

" Alright... from now on, i'm going sober." I say, grabbing the empty bottle of whiskey and throwing it into the trash bin.

" Wait... what?" Bob asks in disbelief.

" I have to take this committment seriously. I have to take this band seriously. I'm done with getting wasted and drowning myself in alocohol because of my misery. You guys deserve better and i'm going to do what's best for this band... for this family. After all, the past is the past and i should leave it that way." I say, smiling genuinly.

I haven't put on a real smile in such a long time and it felt great. Frank, Mikey, Bob and Ray all clap for me and start pulling me into a hug.

" There's the Gerard we know." Ray says, patting my shoulder with a smile.

" Okay enough of this. Didn't we have an interview to go to a few minutes agp? " I ask , turning to Frank who always kept track of our schedule.

" Shit!" Frank says as his eyes grew bigger as he checked the time.

They all ran towards the place where the interview was supposed to be held except for me. I was walking slowly, deep in thought as I trailed behind them. 

I said I wasn't going to drink more than I should anymore... but that doesn't mean that I would forget about her.

No matter how hard I try to forget, she'll always remain in my memory. Always.