The Freak with the Notebook

Scars That Won't Fade

-Katt's P.O.V.-

       I wasn't going to deny it. My life had gotten much better since Harry had come to our school. I stayed home more often then I normally did because well, I honestly enjoyed spending time alone with him. And yeah, it hurts when I see him with PJ, the girl who has made my life hell since the 4th grade, but at least I know he's happy.

        I got lost in my thoughts and I must have been zoned out for quite a while, because I was brought back to reality by Harry's snapping fingers.

        "Katt? Katt!?" I shook my head slightly and blinked a few times.

        "Huh?"

        "Oh, you just lost me for a moment. Are you feeling well?" He said, his eyebrows furrowed. I nodded.

        I saw something from the corner of my eye, a black figure. I quickly turned to see it, as my breathing pitched. "Katt?" I turned back to Harry. "Are you sure you're okay?" Again, I nodded.

        I sat on the edge of my bed and he positioned himself next to me. I looked down at my converse, studying it's pattern as my breathing settled. Just as I thought I was calm, I saw another black shadow begin to form at my feet. I followed it's trail upwards, meeting to what I assumed was it's face. Fear welled inside of me as it grew taller and wider, as if it was attempting to swallow me in it's darkness.

        "Harry..?"I said quietly.

        "Hmm?" He replied, looking at me. I was paralyzed, but I managed a small squeak as I watched the shadow grow closer. "What's wrong Katt?" I didn't reply, but I slowly lifted my hand and pointed to the creature in front of me. He looked to where I was pinting, and slowly lifted his hand to my forehead.

        "You're burning up. Lay down, babe." He sat up and helped me lay down, the creature slowly beginning to dissipate.

        I sat up quickly. "No!... No... I'm fine, really."

        "Katt.. Please?"

        "No Harry."

        He sighed. "Well alright. But tell me if you feel strange, okay?" I nodded in agreement as I sat once again on the edge of my bed and started counting my fingers.

        1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Reality check. My schizophrenia was playing tricks on me, because I didn't have meds left. I inhaled deeply, bringing myself back to the real world. I stared down at my fingers, but Harry quickly grasped my arm and looked at the underside.

        Shocked, I stood up from the sudden movement. I looked down where he seemed to be staring at. The bright pink, horizontal marks that covered my arm. He would find more if he looked hard enough, every limb on my body was covered in them.

        I pulled my arm away from him harshly, and hid it behind my back. He looked up and his misty orbs met mine. "Who made you do that?" He asked, his tone hushed.

        "Nobody."

        "Tell me now, Katt." His voice became a bit more strict, but it began to quiver.

        "I did it to myself."

        He let a tear fall. "Don't give me that! Someone had to have made you done that! Who was it? Niall? His idiot friends?!" His tone scared me a little, but I knew if I told him who it was he would hate one of two people. And that could potentially cause him to be unhappy.

        "I'm not going to tell you." He huffed and grabbed my other arm, looking at the underside once more.

        I pulled it back quickly, knowing those marks were fresh. "You haven't stopped?" His voice cracked, as I hung my head in shame. I saw a tear fall to the floor, followed by another, then another.

        There was silence for a while, and not that good kind of silence. The kind of silence when someone has passed. The kind of silence when your visiting a loved one's grave. The silence I have become acquainted to. The silence of loneliness. I kept my eyes shut for a while, hoping Harry would just leave, and treat me like everyone else does. Pretend I'm not there. Ignore me. But no. He didn't plan on that.

        He pulled me into a hug. He didn't say anything, he let his trembling hands guide my head to lie on his chest as he combed his fingers throughout my unbrushed hair.