Everyday Thoughts

My Path: Part I

It was so infuriating, I was rampaging about internally yet tranquil as a pond on the outside. My rage it seemed began to reflect upon my avatar as he wielded his axe ferociously maiming and ravaging any enemy in his path.

More, more destruction more pain more despair... More war!

My avatar continued to writhe about in a strange mix of fury and ecstasy, Nieve was all covered in blood and left pools of the dark liquid on the once white-bleached snow.

More carnage, more savagery, live it, love it, hate it, destroy it all! Make this world burn!

I couldn't help it, I was so enraged that I wished life would just fall to pieces to give me a reason to finally shatter and regenerate my pieces into something new, something better.

Fall, shatter, burn, rend, destroy, consume, just lose yourself, I'm so broken, I chose this, when did I forsake happiness, save myself, destroy myself!

At the depths of my self determined rancor and isolation, she appeared.

"Are you ok, Baby?" She called out to me.
Time seemed to pause briefly as I pondered my answer carefully, to lie or just let things be as they are.
"No," I answered with tense breath.

"Whats wrong?" She gave me another question. She wants to help me, she wants to fix me.

No!No!No!No! All Wrong! I can heal just fine on my own! I'm stronger than this! I'm fine on my own!

"Baby, Whats wrong?" I could almost hear her serene concerned voice through text. How long was I there carving apart the Aevi before she asked again? My thoughts drifted elsewhere for  a moment.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about it," I decided to not keep her too far in the dark. "I just need some time to vent out everything. I'll be back to normal by tomorrow." She got quiet for a moment so I continued to thrash about and sate my bloodlust.

Release! Rend! Crush! Kill! Exterminate! Cleanse! Purge! Free! Condemn! Restrain! Comfort! Conform! Dominate! Destroy! Decimate! Bu-

I saw a flash of silky white hair on my screen and my health bar slowly re-filled. Every bit of damage my enemies inflicted she would heal away as if it never happened. Why was she here healing me? She should be leaving me to vent! Why?

Endure, confused, concern, enraged, endure, love, empathy, admiration, endure.

As she began to heal me, the monsters began to target her faster than I could draw their attention. I hastily cleaved them back directing my rage towards the task of keeping her monster-free.
By the end of the battle I stood atop the bodies of several Aevi bathing in their blood. I turned towards her with a face that hid my emotions, a face that I only made when I had something to defend, when I was my most serious.

"Tell me whats wrong." She insisted. "I can tell when something is really bugging you, so you don't have to hide it. Just ... talk to me."

Is this how Obito felt when Rin was there to bandage the wounds he was too stubborn to show?

"I don't want to talk about it." I added coldly.