The Mender

Dragon Garb

Esri woke, upset and anxious about Grilu. She looked around. Where was Jilly? She wasn't in her bed. Where was she? It was too quiet. Had something happened?

Now that Jilly was seven, Joe was more relaxed about her puttering around in the apartment on her own and letting Esri sleep in longer on the weekends. But after what happened to Grilu, Esri panicked. He's probably Jilly's age. Oh my god, it was horrible, his beautiful face. Children need to be watched every second. What if something happened to Jilly that forever transformed her? Esri would never forgive herself. Look at Jerome, his life changed in a split second. Esri ran out of the bedroom and screamed, "Jilly! Jilly!"

"Jeez, Esri, I'm right here. Stop yelling. You're always yelling at me."

"Are you okay? Have you been awake a long time? What have you been doing?"

"I'm fine. I'm watching cartoons like I always do and eating cereal. What's the big deal?"

Esri hugged her. "I'm sorry. I worry about you. I don't want you to get hurt, ever."

"Esri, stop it. You're acting weird. Let me watch cartoons."

Jerome's clothing commercial shoot was starting at ten today and might go late. Jilly was staying with Luka's mother until after lunch when she went to work. Ada was on the early morning shift at the donut shop, so she could look after Jilly along with Ada's younger brothers in the afternoon until Joe got home. Shortly before Ersi expected Luka, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Esri, is that you? It's Nicole."

"Hey, Nicole. How are you doing? How's Billy?"

"We're okay. I wanted to let you know we're okay. And . . . and to hear a familiar voice."

"Is there anything we can do to help? Have you figured out what you're going to do?"

"No, not yet. The staff here are really nice and very helpful. It's just hard. I know we're safe but it's kind of crowded. Everyone living here is pretty stressed, so I spend a lot of time with Billy in our room. "

"People are mean to you?"

"No, no, not really. I think it's that people are anxious and then little things blow up. We take turns cooking and all. I'm just feeling kind of lost and alone."

"How long will you stay there?"

"I don't know. We're working on finding some good, affordable daycare for Billy, and I'm on a waiting list for a subsidized apartment. And then, if I can get back on at the dental clinic . . . But that's a lot to work out and sometimes I don't know how far I want to go with this."

"Gosh, Nicole. That's pretty big."

"Do you ever see Darren? I'm still so frightened of him, more for Billy than me. I don't want Billy to grow up with that kind of anger in his home. But I miss my life when Darren had a job. He was a little intense at times, but he mostly kept it in check. I miss being a family. I don't know what to do."

There was a knock at the door. That would be Luka and his mother. "Nicole, I'm really, really sorry but I've got to go. Luka and his mom are at the door – Jills, can you let them in – Luka and I have a job to go to."

"Oh, sorry, Esri. I've gone on. I'll let you go."

"It's okay, really. Call again, Nicole. Usually this is a good time. Let me know if there's anything we can do. Give Billy a hug for me."

"I will. Thanks for listening. Bye."

"Was that Nicole from upstairs?" asked Luka.

"Ah ya, it's . . . a . . . kind of private."

"Luka, you don't have to poke your nose in everyone's business," his mom said.

"Yo, ma, I get it. You don't have to remind me. You ready, Esri?"

"Not really. I haven't got Jilly organized yet. I need a few minutes."

Luka's mom said, "Don't worry, honey. I'll fix her up and pull the door closed when we leave. I'm looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with my favorite little girl. And tomorrow morning too." She squatted down and Jilly hugged her.

Esri and Luka arrived at the studio where the commercial shoot was taking place. As soon as Esri opened the door. The dead-mouse smell accosted her.

"I don't know if I can do this, Luka."

"What do you mean? You have to. You promised me."

"You don't smell anything?"

"No, I don't smell anything. What's with you? Come on, we're already late."

Esri didn't know what to do. She couldn't disappoint Luka, and Jerome, and Brianna, who wasn't so cliquish anymore. But that smell. It meant a Disruptor. Clea said they wouldn't harm Esri, just stop her dreams. Maybe if she just avoided whoever smelled like a dead mouse and stayed close to Luka, it would be all right.

The smell made Esri nauseous, but she pushed herself to ignore it as much as possible. There were about a dozen of them working on the commercial. Esri knew nearly everyone, at least by sight. Some of the coolest kids from school were here. She felt self-conscious and intimidated, but Luka was at ease and always nearby. And though Jerome was busy and in the center of things, he still found moments to convey an encouraging word or nod in her direction. Esri gradually relaxed, and she and Brianna clicked on singing background vocals. Jerome even had them do a small duet.

The dead mouse smell seemed linked to the promoter, the same one Esri saw talking to Jerome in front of City Hall in the fall. Esri thought the promoter stared at her a lot, but she was probably imagining it. When the promoter left for several hours in the afternoon, the smell receded. Esri almost didn't notice it anymore but it unnerved her when he came back and the sickening odor hit her again with full force. What if Clea was right?

Fortunately, the promoter wasn't around at all on Sunday. The dead mouse smell lingered but faintly. Before she left home, Esri found a perfume sample that Randi left after Jilly's party and dabbed some around her nose. That helped, but it also reminded her of Randi.

At the end of the shoot on Sunday, Luka and Esri headed back to the apartment building together, "God, Es, was that ever beyond incandescent or what? I can't wait to see it on TV. We'll be famous. And, we made a ton of money and these clothes. I definitely know what I want to do when I grow up. Hell, from here on out. And that promoter guy really seemed interested in you. You're going to follow-up with him, aren't you?"

"I don't know, Luka. You're right. It was exciting and I can definitely use the money. And singing, that was super fun. Jerome's song is amazing."

"But, I hear a 'but' there in your voice."

"The promoter guy made me uneasy. He's kind of a sleaze-ball."

"Yeah, so? Who cares, if he can line up gigs like this."

"Yeah, maybe. I'll have to think about it."

That night Esri didn't dream about Flat Rocks, nor did she for the rest of the week. She kept telling herself she should be relieved, but it made her anxious. What was happening to Grilu? Was he healing? What if he died? Would that be her fault? It doesn't matter, she told herself. They're just dreams. As much as she kept repeating that to herself she knew that wasn't true. As inexplicable and fantastic as the whole idea of being a Mender seemed, deep down she felt the truth of it.

For the first time, Esri dreaded going to Clea's on Saturday. She wondered what Clea would say or do when she heard that Esri's dreams about the cave-people had stopped.