IS THIS A DREAM//adopted by Phan

chapter 10. Panic Rises

ALEX'S P.O.V

When i woke up the next morning i found myself in the comfort of dan's arms, i wriggled my way out slowly, as to not disturb his slumber. I walked down the hall to the bathroom. I did my business and walked to the front room to watch some TV, as i know now i'm awake i probably won't get back to sleep. I flicked through the channels trying to find something descent to watch, i finally settled on adventure time. After about 10 minutes into the episode i heard a loud thud come from the hall way, i jumped to my feet and darted towards the sound. There i found shannon at the bottom of the stairwell rubbing her head, she seemed slightly out of it so i helped her up and walked to the living room to be met by a worried and tired looking phil "what in Mario's name was that thud?" phil questioned "why don't you ask the girl who practically passed out in the hall way" i laughed shannon grunted and i handed her off to phil who proceeded to lay her on the couch and check her forehead for a fever and her head for any bruising that may have accrued due to her fall.

She was fine as far as we could tell so we sat on the sofa again and watched the rest of the adventure time episodes.

"bacon pancakes bacon, bacon pancakes get some bacon and you put it in the pancake bacon pancake that's what it's gonna make bacon pancaaaaakkess" phil, dan, who had just walked in, shannon and I sung in unison with Jake on the television. We all burst into its of laughter causing shannon to wince in pain "you alright shan?" i questioned. She grunted then nodded her head " i think i hit my head harder than what i thought" she groaned rubbing her head i went to the kitchen and found some pain killers in the draw under the cup cupboard i grabbed a glass filling it with water and returned to the living room handing shannon the water and pain killers. She took them gratefully downing them.

Dan and phil pulled me out side the lounge into phil's bedroom i was confused AF. "Alex what would you say if we.... Adopted shannon?" phil asked. I was beyond shocked i nodded my head vigorously. OMG SHANNON IS GONNA BE MY...sister? SHANNON IS MY SISTER. I smiled looking at dan and phil i wrestle them into a giant hug thanking them " why are you thanking us?" dan questions "Ju-just i've never had a proper family before and i just i love you" i said wiping away my tears trying to compose myself. I calmed down and we walked out into the living room to find Shannon's hunched frame on the sofa with her knees against her chest. I walk quickly over to her "shannon what's wron-" "get away from me" she snaps cutting me off " you ju-just want to get rid of-of me i know you do why else would you go off and talk the dream no no the dream can't come true no no no no no no" she repeated over and over again. She was having a panic attack i tried to stay calm but i too became panicked dan ran over to my side pulling me away from the scene whilst phil tried to pull shannon out of her attack tears began to brim in my eyes i let go and wailed into dans shirt staining it for sure.

I was crying and i couldn't stop i could hear phil trying to calm shannon down which was making me even more upset that she would think i want to get rid of her she is my sister i love her and i would never want to get rid of her she is so much better than what people think she is so kind and thoughtful she is the best. I fell into a deep panic attack that i knew i wouldn't be able to come out from just from soothing words i would have to ride this one out i could feel my arms reacting to the attack inching closer together even with the restraints of dan trying desperately to pull them away from eachother i began to fall onto the ground rocking back and forth scratching at my bare arms that had only just started to heal properly i couldn't breathe all that was running through my head was the temptation of hurting myself.

Shannon's P.O.V

I can't breathe all that is running through my mind is the thought of them wanting to get rid of me like everyone else in my life. I started to sing the song i made up to get me out of my panic attacks quietly

# Close space, darkness.

I can't see now.

I can't see light and it's just night

Noones here to hold me, noones here to tell me it's alright tonight

I can't breathe no theres no oxygen, no i can't breathe nono

I can't breathe it's to small i can't move at all i can't breathe no no

I can't breathe, i can't breathe no no no no

Movement makes my heart top stand still

Laughter makes my heart crash to the ground

I can't see a way out of this i can't resist

I can't breathe theres no oxygen no i can't breathe no no

I can't breathe im inclosed i can't breathe i can't breathe no no no

Just make it through, you got to hold on tight, gotta make it through just this one night

Come on hold still come on we can make it till the end of the night come on hold on

I can't breathe no no theres no oxygen i can't breathe no no im inclosed i can't breathe no no no no

I can't breathe theres no oxygen i can't breathe no no i can't breathe im in closed nooo, i can't breathe no no no no

I can't breathe.#   ( side note i just wrote that song :) took me 3 minutes)

I slowly calmed down out of my panic attack only to see Alex crying hysterically in the arms of dan scratching at her arms i looked around frantically i got up quickly and ran over to her i could hear her muttering things to herself ' she's my sister i love her ' ' shannon i love you your my sister please '

I ripped her arms away from eachother with some new found strength i pulled her into a hug which dan and phil joined hastily i could feel her hysterical crying turning into small stifled sobs i pulled her away from me slightly. She opened her eyes seeing me she launch herself upon me tackling me to the ground and repeating the things she had said under her breath to me "i love you don't scare me like that please..." she asked i nodded my head in agreement "promise?" she asked "promise" i replied

"shannon the real reason we went to talk was to.. Well how would you like it if we um adopted you?" phil asked quietly

i launched my frail little body onto his much sturdier tall body making him wobble a bit before i nodded my head still hugging him. Dan and Alex joined the hug. 'this is my family' i thought ' my real family who will love me no matter what' i let a tear slip down my cheek

AN/ please don't kill me.

i love you all if you ever have any experience remotely like Shannon's or if you are feeling down my inbox is always open bye DANdeLIONS

stay happy stay true and you be you ~ shannon