Yours always, Pre'asia

Echoes of Silence

Talk to me baby

Tell me what you're feeling

You say you don't need to go

Don't you pretend you didn't know

How all of this would end up

Girl I saw it in your eyes

And baby I can read your mind

And expectations were not in sight

You knew that talking dirty to me on the phone would get me here

Cause we both wanted to do this but I could tell that you were scared

Cause you thought there was more to us but you knew how this would end

It's gonna end how you expected girl you're such a masochist and I ask why

And you reply... I like the thrill

Nothing's gonna make me feel this real

So baby don't go home

I don't wanna spend tonight alone

Baby please

Would you end your night with me

Don't you leave me all behind

Don't you leave my little life

No no no no no-The Weeknd, Echoes of Silence

December 26, 2012

It's been exactly 2 weeks so today we are taking Latrica to the doctor. We were all in the car with our heads against the windows. Latrica has basically been avoiding Craig because she doesn't want to get mad at him and slip up. I can tell he is getting suspicious about her actions but she doesn't even care anymore.

The last 2 weeks she's just been quiet and to herself alone with her thoughts and we can tell she has been packing little by little as the days go on. Once we pulled up to the clinic we could feel her tense up she doesn't talk much anymore she uses body language. She just got out the car and walked inside.

We sat in waiting room awkwardly with our heads down. A young woman with pretty long brown hair came outside to the waiting room "Latrica Lashay?" Latrica stood up and told us just to wait for her to come back. We both want tried but she said no.

We sat with anticipation just waiting and waiting it felt like it was taking forever why can't they just touch her forehead and predict if she was pregnant or not?

::::

It's been a whole solid hour and now we were completely torn to go walk inside of the room. But right when I was ready to get and go to the room Latrica walked out with tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked completely broken to pieces. Her face was completely red and she just looked broken.

She didn't have to say anything we just engulfed her in a hug while rocking her back and forth. We all knew that she was on her way to Denver and it just fucked us all up in the brain. We made our way to Arianna's car. Latrica announced "I gotta leave today my aunt is at the house waiting on me. So we can go but when I get back were going to really turn up okay?"

We just cried softly and nodded. I've known this girl since I was 10 we've been together everyday the longest we've been apart was a week. Before we knew it we were in Latrica's driveway. She hugged both of us tightly and reassured us "I'll be back before you know it July is right around the corner. And y'all can always come visit me, call me, and we can Oovoo okay?" We both just nodded and she gave us a tight squeeze with a reassuring smile before getting inside her aunts car and leaving.

That shit broke me I mean I feel like 1/4 of my heart had torn and the only feeling I felt was.....Sad. I wanted cry my ass off so bad but I had to suck it up she'll be back by July and everything would be back to normal. Right?

Now it was just Me and Arianna my R.O.D in tears watching as Latrica's aunts old Toyota left off the road and away from the distance. My phone rang and it was Chresanto, ugh now I had to put up a front like everything was fine like I knew nothing and I was happy.

"Hey baby" I said trying to sound happy. "You sound like you were crying why?" Ugh he knows everything...."No bae I was laughing at this joke that Arianna told me." I said while scratching the back of my neck with my index finger I do that a lot when I lie.

He sighed " I'm on my way to your house be there when I get there." He said then he hung up. Ugh why must he be so so.... Considerate. I asked Arianna to drop me off at home and she said sure.

Once I got in I left the door unlocked for him and went into my room. There was a huge picture of me and Latrica from homecoming right next to the on of me and Arianna. I mean most of my milestones were spent with this girl.

I crawled under my blankets and just lied there thinking. You should never leave me alone with my thoughts it's dangerous for myself. It makes shit I have never felt come out. I never say anything I just sit and think sometimes I cry and that's exactly what I did today I cried.

I felt Chresanto come lay next to me but I paid him no attention I just cried. He didn't ask me anything at all he just held me in his arm and stroked my hair and kissed my forehead while I cried into his shirt. It wasn't even all Latrica I felt broken into pieces because everything was overwhelming for me.

Finally after awhile of Chresanto watching me cry he sighed and said"I hate to see you cry Pre'asia, what the hell is wrong?" I sniffled "Latrica moved to Denver today" I said simply. My voice was colder than ice cubes in Antarctic. He had a puzzled look"Why? I drove past her house on my way here her mom was sitting on the porch." I sighed "I can't tell you." He sighed and lied his chin on the top of my head "Well is she coming back?"

I nodded yes "In July of next year." He sighed in relief "Then why are you crying she'll be back before you know it." I sighed "It won't be the same!" He shrugged "Why?"

I put my hand on my forehead in stress" If I tell you, you can't tell the boys not even Jacob." He shrugged and nodded while sticking out his pinky. I joint it with mine and said "It'll never be the same because when she comes back she'll have a baby to take care of. No smoking that good dro or just fucking around. She's going to have responsibilities all because of stupid ass Craig. She's not planning on telling him at all, she didn't even tell him she's gone. I'm completely overwhelmed in my feelings right now it's completely stupid." I ran my hands through my hair while rubbing my temples.

I shot my eyes up to him "You can't tell nobody ever don't even look at Craig funny just pretend like you don't know okay?" He gave me a charming smile "I promise they won't suspect a thing I'll even pretend like I'm oblivious to where she is." I smiled a little and lied my head down on his chest some more.

Silence is all we felt all we we were and all we could be.