Shadowhunters

Angels Twice Descending - Simon's memories

This one is more like a deleted scene, it's something that didn't happen in the book, at least not in this much detail, but it's something I always felt would be a huge moment for Simon, so as Cassie didn't write it, I thought I would. Obviously if Cassie did write it, it would be ten times better than this because she is the writing God, but I thought I'd give it a go. :)
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He wasn't Simon Lewis anymore. He was someone new.
In fact, he was not someone new. He was someone old. This seemed like the most perfect analogy as A. In all the comic books he'd read and movies he'd watched, the most wise and loyal people were old. And that is how he felt at this moment in time. He felt wise. He felt wise because inside his head it didn't feel as though the Simon all his old friends used to know was a different person anymore. He felt like the Simon all his old friends used to know was now the Simon that all his new friends now know. And for some strange reason that Simon could not put his finger on, that made him feel wise And B. Inside his head for the past 2 years he felt like there was an old Simon; the Simon everybody knew. And then there was a new Simon; the Simon he knew. And that these two Simons - what's the plural for Simon? he wondered - were different people. Like when someone has the same name as you, and looks a little like you, but they are, in actual fact, a completely different person. He had always thought that this was the case. But he was wrong.
He was so inevitably wrong.
Simon knew now that he was, and always had been, the same Simon all along. Just because he was without his memories, it didn't mean that he was a different person. He was still the same person he always was. It's like when your mom grounds you when you're a kid, and she takes away all your comic books because they're giving you 'bad ideas', just because you tried to fly like Green Lantern and ended up breaking the dining room table. You're obviously still the same person underneath, you still have the same personality as before, but a part of you is missing, and you know that one day you'll get it back, but it's just not the same as it was. And everyone is telling you that you don't need them in your life to still be happy and to live, but all you can think is "but they're wrong. I do need them. They're a part of me. They're the reason I am the way I am" and even though you're right: you wouldn't be who you are without them, when you finally get them back you realise that actually (even though you would never admit it to anyone, especially not your mom) you don't really need them after all. You're still going to read them, and love them, but if the situation required it, you could carry on living and you'd still be the same person you were all along without them.
Even though Simon felt like this, he still revelled in the fact that he had all his memories back. His previous thoughts about comic books and different Simon's and friends were forgotten in an instant as his memories very suddenly and unexpectedly flooded his brain, having the same effect as a tsunami.
He was kissing Isabelle, and an Angel was rising out of a lake. Clary was passing a gold ring across the table to him, they were on the rooftop in Manhattan where Sebastian had been raised by Lilith. Suddenly Maureen was there, wearing her little pink hat. Clary was imprinting the Mark of Cain onto his forehead, and he was kissing Isabelle, and he was with Clary Christmas shopping. He was in his cell in Idris, and he was on Valentine's ship drinking Jace's blood, and he was kissing Isabelle, and he was on the back of a flying motorcycle, and he was listening to Eric's terrible poetry with Clary in Java Jones, and he was looking at Isabelle. And he was at Luke's farmhouse with Clary throwing snowballs, and he was walking to school with Clary, as children. Such young children.
And he was kissing Isabelle.
Isabelle, who has always been the same to him: fragile and strong, and so, so beautiful.
Isabelle, who Simon had always been the same to: nerdy and loyal, and so, so brave.

"Arise"

He felt... he didn't know how he felt, except stunned.