Shadowhunters

City of Heavenly Fire

Jalec cave scene
---------
Alec followed Jace onto one of the rocks, leaning against a larger one. He tried not to inhale too much of the murky air around him as he didn't want to be infected with some demon-throat infection. Especially as they had not yet found Magnus.
Magnus.
There was that thought again. That image of Magnus being held captive, being tortured, maybe even being killed. What scared Alec the most was that he had no idea what state his ex-boyfriend was in. He had no idea whether he was alive or not. And the worst part was that Alec had betrayed him. He couldn't hate himself more at the moment. He was worrying too much about Magnus, and because of that he'd snapped at Jace, which was right at the top of his list of things not to do. Still. Jace didn't understand what he was going through. It's not like it was Clary who had been the one kidnapped by a raving lunatic...
"Are you going to talk?" Jace's voice bled through into Alec's thoughts, breaking him out of his stupor. "Or is this one of those times where you're mad at me so you don't say anything?"
"Im not mad at you," Alec said. He ran a leather-gauntleted hand over his bow, idly tapping his fingers against the wood. A nervous tick he'd never gotten out of the habit of doing; it had gotten worse recently, since Max.
"I thought you might be. If I'd agreed to look for shelter, I wouldn't have been attacked. I put us all in danger." Jace sounded sincere, which showed Alec he meant what he was saying. Alec breathed deeply, despite the disgusting air, looking up at the sky of the demon world. He then glanced over at Jace whose appearance portrayed his personality for once: reckless and daring. His ripped top, scruffy hair and mucky face also made him look more his age, and Alec suddenly felt a sense of brotherly love wash over him for his parabatai.
"We knew the risks we were taking coming here with you," He said, making absolute sure that Jace knew this wasn't all his fault. "We signed up to die. I mean, obviously I'd rather survive. But we all chose."
It was strange to think that this was possibly one of the last conversations Alec would ever have with his best friend. He tried not to think about it too often, but that thought was a constant companion to not only Alec, but all of them.
"The first time you saw me," Jace said. "I bet you didn't think he's going to get me killed."
"The first time I saw you, I wished you'd go back to Idris" Alec said, shrugging when Jace looked at him with false hurt.
"I grew on you though" Jace replied with his most annoying, compelling smirk.
"Eventually. Like moss, or a skin disease."
"You love me." He answered, Alec's comment not even slightly wavering his confidence. "You think we should have left a note for Maryse and Robert?" Alec barked a dry laugh.
"I think they'll figure out where we went," He said. "Eventually. Maybe I don't care if Dad ever figures it out. Oh, God, I'm a cliché," he said despairingly. "Why do I care? If Dad decides he hates me because I'm not straight, he's not worth the pain, right?"
"Don't look at me," Jace said, dryly laughing. "My adoptive father was a mass murderer. And I still worried about what he thought. It's what we're programmed to do. Your Dad always seemed pretty great by comparison."