The Forgotten

Chapter 13

-/-

The Doctor hated hospitals; it was ironic given his chosen title. Yet there were some things even he couldn't make better and most of them could be found within the walls of a hospital. For a Time Lord with multiple existences and centuries of life span the concept of a permanent death was an uncomfortable one to face, so they just...didn't...and The Doctor who was an atypical Time Lord in everything else was surprisingly conformist in this one thing.

Although he supposed as he kept a watchful gaze on the two children gazing around at their surroundings in wonder, as children of all races did before they had learnt the concept of fear, that he was going to have give up much of his atypical lifestyle...settling down...being a father...

Once upon a time when fatherhood had been thrust upon him back in his first regeneration The Doctor hadn't dealt with it perhaps as well as he could have done. He had tried his best to live as a Time Lord should. Attended the academy and passed...well scraped through...and accepted the position that his graduate status entitled him too.

When his family arranged his marriage he hadn't even tried to fight it.

There had only ever been Koschei who he had entertained having a deeper relationship with. Yet his friend's father had made it only too clear what would happen if The Doctor continued on with their school yard dalliance. He could never have been responsible for his best friend being disowned, of losing the vaunted position that being a scion of the House of Oakdown entitled him too.

It seems laughable looking back now that The Doctor had chosen to let go of the one relationship that had actually endured over all these years. All to allow his friend the opportunity to ascend to the High Council one day and maybe even one day the presidency itself. Although if he was being honest with himself, a fleeting lapse that would correct itself soon enough, The Doctor had been probably a little too happy to have an excuse that made it somebody else's fault...

That it wasn't really fear or cowardice at what pursuing a true life bond with his best friend would have entailed.

So he made his safe political marriage. He cared and in his own way even came to love his wife and his children but it was always awkward. He had always wanted more, always looked to the rest of the universe and hungered for what was out there and not what he already had. His wife had raised their children and they became the models of a Gallifreyan citizen that The Doctor knew he was only pretending to be.

Susan was the first time he really allowed another being after Koschei into both of his hearts.

His tiny wilful granddaughter was like looking into a mirror and seeing himself reflected in all of his atypical glory. He didn't care that she was a "disappointment", so what if she didn't pass the exams for the academy, it was full of over inflated windbags any way. She had more courage and love in her little finger than all of those shrivelled up fossils had in both hearts and all of their regenerations combined.

So when it all became too much, when The Doctor simply had to leave Gallifrey and all their rigidity behind he had taken that darling girl away. Stole a Tardis and fled.

Well he still had the Tardis but this time there could be no running away...this time the responsibility of fatherhood would follow him now no matter how far he tried to run.

And yet that thought didn't scare him as much as he thought it would. Was he finally ready?

Reaching out The Doctor trailed his fingertips lightly across his daughter's cheek, pushing enough of his own presence into his touch that her bright blue eyes were literally riveted on his face. Already he could feel her distinctive mental presence following the pathway he had laid out, so strong, so very much her mother's daughter, and for a moment her very essence brushed against his mind.