A few poems

Your joy is my pain

Your words are knives,
Your laughter is your battle-cry.
My only defence against you is faking everything, every single day.
You love making me suffer,
Emotionally
As well as physically.
Everyday I just want to put an end to all of this.
My pain seems to be your only source of joy.
Is pushing me till the edge what keeps you alive?
Then kill me.
Kill me even if it is slow and torturous,
I deserve it.
I'm just a waste of space that no one cares about.
I don't want to live anymore.
End my days if it makes you happy
But please do it before my demons do it.
I am going insane.
I laugh and cry.
If killing me brings you joy,
Then do it.
Living does not matter to me.
Yes I'll be in pain but as always,
Your joy is my pain