"i've said it once, i've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times. that i'm okay, that i'm fine and that it's all just in my mind."
~Bring Me The HorizonChapter Sixteen- It Never Ends
After I had replied to Tom asking me out, I saw him visibly relax as he went back to his usual self and flashed me a grin.
"Don't you worry I will make it the best date you have ever been on." He told me and pecked on the cheek.
I raised my eyebrow at him, "I at least thought that I would get a kiss on the lips for my answer." I said, half joking.
He gestured to the door, "Not risking a make out session when those little brats could come in." He rolled his eyes and I laughed. They weren't brats though and Tom knew that. They were little angels. Cheeky angels but angels nonetheless.
We soon heard Pam call us down for dinner. I wasn't planning on staying up eat though.
"I should go then." I told Tom standing up.
He stopped me by grabbing my hand, "No, stay for dinner." He said with a smile. I bit my lip, thinking about his offer for a second but I found myself nodding.
Dinner with Tom's family, if I had to describe it in one word, was lively. Dinners for me was eating take away or microwave meals either up in my room or in front of the TV. I never usually sat at an actual table and ate an actual meal. Not since dad left anyway.
"Tom, are you not feeling hungry?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by Pam. She was eyeing Tom's almost untouched plate worriedly.
Tom squeezed his eyes shut in frustration for a second before opening them back up and looked at his mum, "Don't worry. I just feel a bit sick that's all." He told her. And then a little quieter, "You know I'm fine now."
The three younger ones looked between him and his mum in confusion but chose to stay quiet. So did I and so did his mum.
When the chatter started up again, but mostly by Jim, Louis and Kelly, I glanced over at Tom. He did look kind of pale. I decided to believe him when he said he wasn't feeling well because I knew how it felt when you knew you were fine but others treated you like you were going to break down at any moment.
I reached for his hand under the table and squeezed in hopes to comfort him. I noticed with relief his facial expression visibly relax and
soften.+++
"Sorry for what happened at dinner." Tom said scratching the back of his neck.
I shook my head, "I'm glad I got to have dinner with someone like that for once." I gave him a smile.
His eyes widened slightly at my words for a second but then he wrapped his arms around me, "You're welcome to come back anytime."
After we said our good nights to each other, I started to head back home. Tom insisted on walking me back because it was late but I reassured him that I was fine since I only lived a few streets away. Plus, I wanted to have a little walk on my own to clear my head. So, grudgingly, Tom let me go.
As a thousand thoughts swirled around in my brain, I took a moment to take a deep breath and look up at the night sky. Beautiful stars were scattered across the sky and seemed to shine brighter tonight than any other night. I smiled at the thought as I went back to my thoughts.
There was no use in denying the fact that I still felt something towards Hunter. I couldn't pinpoint what but I couldn't just ignore the fact that he made my heart race. But he also had the power to hurt me to the point where he almost broke me.
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Saving Him • editing/rewriting
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