The Boy I Thought I Hated

Chapter 12

Luke was tossing and turning, at one point, he almost pushed Caroline off the bed. Caroline jerked awake. She gently started shaking Luke, trying to get him to wake up. "Baby, you okay?"

Luke still didn't stir, except for his frantic moving. Caroline was getting worried. She didn't like seeing Luke like this. Caroline spotted the glass of water beside him. Luke always drank water before bed, it helped him sleep.

Caroline grasped the cup, splashing it onto Luke's face. He immediately woke up. "What was that for?" Luke questioned.

"Sorry, I was just trying to wake you. What's up with you today?" Caroline questioned him.

"Nothing," Luke said, even though he knew that was a lie. "Nothing's wrong, Carol."

"Come on, Luke. You know that's a lie. Tell me the truth," Caroline pushed him.

Luke sat up, he didn't seem too happy to Caroline, and she was right, he wasn't. Actually, he was beyond pissed. "I don't want to talk about it, Caroline!"

"Luke, we can't just let these things snowball out of control!" Caroline declared.

"I just don't want to talk about it! Can't you see that?!"

Caroline took in a deep breath. "Honey, please. I want us to be able to talk about our feelings. Just tell me what's wrong."

Luke shook his head. He didn't say anything. He just didn't feel up to it. Stephanie has caused so much pain in his life and he didn't want Caroline to have to deal with that. He loved her.

"Luke, say something," Caroline whispered.

Luke flinched. He could literally hear the heartbreak in her voice, but things were left bettet unsaid. Besides, he just didn't want to talk about it. "Caroline, just leave it alone."

"I'm sorry, Luke, but I can't be with someone who can't be honest with me. It's either you tell me or I leave. That's your choice," Caroline gave him a choice.

Luke knew he couldn't choose this secret over Caroline. He couldn't let the love of his life leave. The girl he was head over boots for. But for some reason, he just couldn't bring himself to tell Caroline the truth. He just couldn't do it. It was... just over.

"I'm sorry, Caroline. I just, I just can't. I can't tell you what's going on. I can't, because it'll hurt me just as much as I know it'll hurt you. I love you too much to do that. Just please understand that. If you want to leave, then fine. But I'll never stop loving you, Caroline. You mean too much to me for that to happen."

Caroline sighed. "I gave you a choice. I told you to tell me what was going on. If you think I'm not important enough to you to tell me what's wrong, then I'm not important enough to you to be your girlfriend," Caroline picked up her purse from the side of her bed, climbed out, and made her way to the door. Without looking up at him, with a tear silently rolling down her cheek, she shakily whispered, "Goodbye, Luke. I hope you find the right girl someday."

Luke cried in frustration. He knew deep down that she'd leave, he just wish that it wouldn't be the outcome. He told her to understand that he wasn't ready to share, but she just didn't listen. Would she come back? Probably not. Not umless he told her. Was he stupid to let her go over that? Yes, of course he was.

He then remeber the letter that Caroline had told him about. He quickly opened his night stand and saw just the one simple sentence. He immediately lost it. Was he ready to read it? Not quite. Imstead, Luke decided to write is own letter.

Caroline,

Baby, there hasn't been a day where I have stopped loving you, and I promise you that I never will. There is a reason why I didn't tell you the truth. I couldn't. I felt like I was gonna cry. I have never been so in love with you. I could never bare the thought of you having tears roll down your face because I felt hurt. I had a nightmare about Stephanie. Don't think that I don't trust you. I do, I always will. I remember what you said. About reading that letter you wrote me when I didn't feel loved. I didn't read it. And that's because I still feel loved by you, but also because I wasn't ready for the tears that I knew would start flowing to flow. I decided to write you this, so thay you know that I'm just not ready to tell you yet. But when I am, I promise I will come to you first. Why? Because I love you. I love you so freakin' much that it's not even funny. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about our future. I imagine a ring on both of our fingers. I picture us with our sons and daughters, running around and laughing with them. I see a huge house. I see your pregnant belly. I can see our future. I see us growing old together. I love you, baby. Don't think that I don't. That'd be a lie if you do. Please just be patient with me. I'm doing the best I can. I'll see you soon.

I love you to the ends of the Earth, to the Moon and back.

Luke

Luke folded up his letter and placed in an envelope. Delicately, he wrote Caroline's name across the front in his scratchy handwriting. He carefully laid it out across Caroline's pillow, hoping she'd come home and see it. He knew she'd come back, it was just a matter of when.

Caroline had tears streaming down her face as she stayed parked om the side of the road. She couldn't do this. She loved him. What was she even thinking? Why did she think walking out on him was gonna be okay? She had to fix this and soon.

She arrived back to her house, everything seemed quiet. An eerie quiet. Caroline didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. Something was definitely wrong. Where was Luke? It was the middle of the night, all the bars were closed, there was no way he was out getting drunk. Did she hurt him enough to make him think she broke up wih him? She didn't, she was just mad. Oh, God, what has she done? Was he really gone. Luke couldn't be gone, nit after they tried so hard to be together.

She walked around the house, searching for Luke. Searching for the love of her life. Searching for the one she knew was "the one". Luke was him, Caroline knew that deep down in her heart, and she had hurt him. She broke him. She really messed up this time. Now she didn't know where the man she loved was. Her whole world was falling apart. She had to find him, she just had to!

Caroline slowly creeked the door open to her bedroom, the light from Luke's lamp lit the room, nut it was quiet. She couldn't hear Luke's snores.

"Luke, baby, you in here?" Caroline asked, her voice shaky and small.

There waa no answer. Caroline quietly made her way into her room, not a trace of Luke to be seem anywhere. Nothing but a letter with her name scrolled across the front in Luke's handwriting.

Caroline picked it up slowly, ripping the side of the sealed letter open. She took out a folded piece and unfolded it. It was covered in Luke's chicken scratch writing. Caroline began to read the letter, only to end up with tears in her eyes. He saw a future with her. He really did love her. But what does she do? She pushes to far, that it upsets him and she walks out, causing a break in his heart. He just wasn't ready to tell her yet. But one question still remained, where was he now?

______________________

A/N: So, how was that for a chapter? Where's Luke? How did y'al like his letter? Will Caroline find him? What was his nightmare about? Is Luke gonna tell Carolime soon? Hope y'all liked it! And happy (late) anniversary to Luke and Carol! ^_^ ~Kelsea