Innocent

The Three of Us

Evelyn had, after days of working every spare shift she could pick up, finally earned a day off. With her mother now refusing to pay for her expenses, Eve had been forced into the adult world at too young of an age. Being exposed to the truths of the world both strengthened and weakened her. Roxy and I helped when we could, but we knew that it would never be enough.

Roxy was an entirely different matter. Her family - meaning her mother and her younger siblings - were the loud but loving type of family. They yell and scream and annoy each other to their metaphorical deaths, but when push comes to shove, they would do anything for each other.

And then there was little old me. My father and I are so cold to each other, yet it's not hatred by any means. It's cold, emotionless dependency. I need him around to survive, and he keeps me around because he can't bare to throw me out.

Our family situations aren't ideal in any sense of the word, but Eve, Roxy and I rally together. Whenever we needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to bare our souls to, it was always our trio that comforted each other. So it was only natural that in this time of personal crisis, I turned to my sisters. About four days after my... outing with Endavi, I pulled up my contacts and - somehow, thanks to my medieval phone - called Roxanne first.

"Bongiorno, mia sorella!" I half yelled into the phone. It was our secret greeting, translating in Italian to "hello, my sister". I can understand how odd it must look for the two of us to greet each other like that, but after failing to develope a secret language, we decided to just learn one that already existed.

"Mia sorella! Long time, no see. How are things?" She said, her voice crackling through the speaker. And, in the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt tears form around my eyes, blurring my vision. I missed everything that Roxy reminded me of - our lazy days in the library before Benjamin, all the times we made fun of idiots. She knew me inside and out, to the point where we don't need words that much, although the they do help more often than not. We might be a trio, but it had always been Roxy and I, and occasionally Eve.

A second too long to reply to her, and Roxy instantly knew something was wrong. It probably didn't help that I tried to sniffle back the tears.

"Harls, what's wrong?" She said, her voice laced with as much concern as I knew she could. 

I crumbled. Keeping this secret to myself for such a long time had been crushing my soul into painful diamonds. In under five minutes, I had supplied her a detailed description of the past few days, managing to keep myself together by the skin of my teeth. Once I had finished, I could hear her dial another number, and it wasn't long before Evelyn's squeaky voice came through the other end. My phone grew warm in my hand as the call expanded - neither of us were coping with stress very well. 

"Hey, Eve, you owe me five bucks," was all Roxy said before Eve went silent. One pregnant pause later, and she gasped, followed by a squeal that I was sure only dogs could hear.

"You went out with Endavi?! Oh my god! How was it? Did he kiss you?" Evelyn said in rapid succession, barely stopping to breath, "so I'm guessing you finally dumped Ben?"

"Ummm," I said, followed by a loud sigh, "I'm still with Benjamin, and the Fair wasn't a date. But girls, I don't know what to do about the whole thing."

"Do about what?" Eve said. I could hear the clicking of typing, not sure of who it was. "Rox, are you texting me?" That's when the message came through, and she stopped to read it. I silently thanked Roxanne for texting her my situation with Benjamin - I felt as though I was one a cliff, and one more push could send me plummeting.

"Why don't you just do him and get it over with?" She said, almost laughing. I had to admit, she had a point. I could do it, no problem. I could be like Eve and not treat my first time as such a big deal. But who would that make me? The most prevailing quality of Harley Winters is my childlike purity. I have always been the kid who could never be mean or break rules because that's not who I am. But that was when I was just a kid, so does that make it okay? Questions with no answers are the worst form of torture. I felt as though I would tear apart my own mind if I didn't figure out how to react. 

"Let's try distraction therapy. What's up, girls?" I said, forcing enthusiasm very harshly.

"I dumped Manny, he was a tool. Him and his mates got suspended for smoking, then he thought it'd be a good idea to kick a bin towards the teacher. What an idiot!" We all laughed and agreed with Roxy, and just as I had predicted, they made me feel better. I had completely forgotten about Benjamin and Endavi and Olive and everything. For those few minutes, life was good again. Until my father opened the door - without knocking, as always - and asked me to lock the chickens into their homemade coop. I said my goodbyes to Roxanne and Evelyn, then I hung up, hoping that they wouldn't discuss my situation behind my back after I left.

I slipped on my boots before I step into the humid sunset air, walking the heated journey of thirty meters to the metal door. Our six chickens clucked as they heard me nearby, whining as I locked their gate for the night. I meandered my way back up to the house, humming some song I vaguely know. I step inside into the cooled indoors and sighed, my body adjusting to the changes in temperature. I made my way past the kitchen where my father was finishing off dinner - steak burgers and chips, typical weekday dinner.

Without so much as eye contact, I made my way back to my room. I decided to distract myself by sorting out my laundered clothes, putting them into folded piles and into my drawers. By the time I was finished, dad called me for dinner, yelling nothing more than my name.

I opened the door, walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. My plate of food was sitting there on the bench, which was normal considering dad was probably eating his in the study. Just in case he had some new blockbuster to watch while we eat dinner. 

"Hey, dad?" I call from the kitchen, and am not replied to at all. I march around the corner and into the small, carpeted room half-filled by desks and shelves. The other half was occupied by my father, coughing and twitching on the floor in front of me.

The ultimate distraction. I guess it's true what they say about being careful what you wish for.