Memento Mori

Chapter 9: Sleep forever.

Jimin got home that day, and as he went straight to him room he fell on the bed and looking at the ceiling he thought about what Jin told him on Thursday and it was just bizarre, it didn't make any sense, and then a strange idea popped in his head,

"What if that wasn't Jin?" he whispered to himself.

"What if..." He stopped there, because it couldn't be, it wasn't possible, it was just a memory problem, but what if? What if Jin really had something more deeply than a memory problem, what if this wasn't just paranoia?

Jimin fell asleep, hugging his blanket again, thinking about what Jin told him, heavy thoughts clouding his mind, thinking that there was more to Jin that met the eye, there was more to it, not just a memory loss problem, it was something else entirely, something he didn't want to think it could be true.

He woke up somewhere in the middle of the night, hearing his phone go off under his pillow. He started to keep it there in case he might have a break down and he would need to call Jin, it could help him sleep he thought, that maybe if he were to hear his voice again he could sleep soundly and forget about his nightmares. That maybe if Jin whispered in a fragile voice sweet things, he could forget about it, but he never got the chance to do so, because Jin passed out and left him alone for almost a whole week, left him there to try and cope with the misery, with the dark thoughts that clouded his mind, he left him to think that maybe he was indeed not needed, because after all his parents didn't notice, his friends didn't care, and the only one who cared and noticed was now asleep. And every night he was wide awake, afraid to sleep, afraid to close his eyes, because it could come back, and that haunted him. Every night, as he hugged the blanket he would try to think about how Jin held him, about the words Jin had told him, he tried to remember the faint whispers of 'it's okay' and 'don't cry', the warmth of the older body, but it didn't work, the voice was no longer there, the warmth was replaced with cold, he couldn't remember it, and he was afraid, because Jin wasn't there to keep him safe.

At school it was hell; everyone jumped to hug him on Monday when he got to class and he felt like puking, then when some girls came to him wanting to take his hand and ask if he is okay, if he is cold because he bought a blanket, he felt shivers down his spine, he couldn't do this, he couldn't function without Jin, he felt so scared, he just ran away and went home, telling his mother he got a cold and he wants to stay home, that's he's fine when she started asking questions, that it's just a cold, and somehow she believed him.

Then, as two days passed, Jimin was worse, because he didn't know when or if the boy would woke up. They told him it was just fatigue but he couldn't help it, he thought it was more, that something was really wrong, he was paranoid, scared, frightened, because his safe place was not there to keep him safe anymore. Soon the blanket was not enough, he tried to hug it again, to imagine it's Jin that's embracing him, but it didn't work, the blanket wasn't Jin, the one that embraced him wasn't the older, there was no one there to hold him, no one there to tell him 'it's okay', no one to help him take a shower, no one to help him eat, no one to make him fall asleep.

He was all alone in this, and scared as hell, because his parents didn't know and mustn't know, that he was barely holding on, that he could break down every moment now, that he was lonely without Jin, and he only felt safe when he was with the older, that his reason to go on, his reason to live, somehow it was Jin.

'Hey there little one. Sorry for today.' The message said, and Jimin felt his heart beat at a normal peace again, it was Jin, and it was going to be okay again, because Jin woke up, Jin woke him up from experiencing another nightmare; the one who saved him again was Jin.

'Can I call you?' Jimin wrote back, and as he waited for an answer to come he almost fell asleep with his phone in his hand. Then the phone rang and he picked it up without even looking at the screen.