Jin stood there, looking at the mirror, something was wrong. The pain was back, his head started hurting again, his vision was slowly getting blurry, and he felt dizzy. As he held onto that sink, with both his hands gripping the margins tightly, but it was no use, he couldn't take it anymore, the dizziness was taking over, the coldness embracing him, the smell of chloride in the air making him remember something he didn't want to, something the other Jin made sure would be wiped from his memory, but failed this time to keep it like that again. Jin fell to the ground with a loud thud, and when he woke up he was back where he didn't want to be, to a place he thought would never return to.
When he came around he was leaning on the doorframe of a bathroom, he didn't know where it was, or how he got there, but then when his body moved on its own, his mouth speaking for itself, he knew it was a memory. He looked at where he was, as much as he could, and noticed the darkness, the bathroom that reminded him of the hospital he was previously on, but this time, it wasn't him the one looking at the mirror.
"Hoseok," Jin rasped out, but the boy just stood there, looking at his reflection in the mirror, trying to find something,
"Does it hurt that bad?" Jin asked again, leaning on the door frame, supporting his weight on his right side, and crossing his arms to the chest, but Hoseok stayed silent again,
"Do you miss him that much?" Jin tried again, this time finally getting an answer. Hoseok looked at himself, then with a sad smile on his face he turned to Jin and said,
"It hurts," he said, trying to hold his tears, but failing,
"I miss him..." he continued, as a tear ran down his cheek,
"Just try to forget him." Jin said, trying to keep his cool, but he knew better, the boy was beyond saving.
After getting a call from a crying Jin, he tried to tell him everything that happened; only that he left out the part where he helped the boy kill himself. The other Jin did it in fact, but Jin didn't know that, Hoseok didn't know that either.
Taehyung was a threat to Jin, if Jin were to stay with Taehyung any longer that would be a problem, that meant that Jin wouldn't be safe, he might get hurt, so if the boy wanted to die, then the other Jin wasn't going to stop him, if Taehyung said that killing him meant saving him then so be it.
Of course when Jin was back to his senses he forgot the part where he let the boy kill himself, only so he could suffer until the other Jin would take care of his pain.
After Hoseok found where Taehyung was, after seeing him all bloody with his wrists cut and Jin sobbing over the boy, after trying to deny the scene, after trying to comprehend what happened, he knew better, this was the truth, there was no helping it, this was the cruel truth and it was all his fault, because he let the boy go, because he could've stopped the boy from going, but he didn't because he trusted the boy not to do anything reckless, and he was wrong.
Hoseok wanted to shut the pain off, he wanted to forget everything, but nothing worked. Hoseok wanted to make it stop, the pain, the guilt, the loneliness, the thought of never seeing Taehyung again, the thought that he would have to live this life without his best friend, the thought of going on without him. Nothing mattered to him anymore, because his light was gone, his only source of happiness, the only one that could make the boy smile, the only thing he loved in this world, the only one who made him enjoy life, was now gone, forever.
Hoseok tried everything, pills, drugs, alcohol, anything that there was in order to forget Taehyung, but it didn't work. Nothing worked, and the only thing that could take some pain away was the sleeping pills, when he took those he would feel alright for some time, because in his dreams he could be with the boy. Soon enough, when he was way too out of it, after all those sleeping pills he had taken, he began seeing the boy, then when the boy would embrace him to sleep, he would softly whisper in his ears to come and join him. And maybe Hoseok wanted to join him, he thought about it, that maybe if he took his own life like Taehyung did maybe he would end up in the same place with the boy, maybe that was the only way to be with him again.
YOU ARE READING
Memento Mori
FanfictionPrologue: It was a cold day of winter when they met. It was when Jimin lost something, but gained something else. It was when Jin found him dancing in the snow; it was when Jin found a stranger and made him feel safe in his arms. On that winter, whe...
