Memento Mori

Chapter 14: Dead leaves

"No..." Seokjin rasped out, a bit defensive again, but weak, his voice was weak, barely there.

He knew he was going to give them up in the end, it was no helping it, he couldn't really say no to Jin, it wasn't really a question when he asked about the memories, it was more of a demand, he had to give them up, the only thing that separated him from Jin, the thing that made him remember his betrayal – the memory of Namjoon, the pink haired boy, the one that smiled and made Seokjin think that he should never let Jin take over again, the boy that couldn't dance at all but when it was autumn and they played together, the leaves danced with him and it was beautiful, the boy that once meant the world to him, the boy that made him betray Jin, his sin, his greatest mistake, was Namjoon.

"You can't say no to me," Jin said, a bit cocky, but it was true, "you know you have to give them up, sooner or later, I will have them." Jin finished, a bit too sure of that, which made Seokjin think why was he like that, what was the trigger that Jin was so sure of?

"N-No, you can't..." Seokjin said, it was almost as if begging, and Jin didn't really understand why he was so afraid of giving them up, Jin never really expected much from Seokjin, the boy was a mess, like him, they were sick together, they were without saving together, so if he could give him back those horrid memories, those moments when he killed his friends and then like a monster he is forgot about them, why can't he give up Namjoon? Was Namjoon so precious? Was Namjoon someone the other Jin loved more than Jin?

"Please," Seokjin was now begging and it was intriguing to see someone that was the cause to so many lives lost to beg for something, he didn't care when they begged to be saved, he saved them in his way, his own sick and twisted way, so why spare him now, Jin needed to know, he had to know, he wanted to know about Namjoon, everything Seokjin knew, it was a secret he had to know, maybe this secret can make him human again; but it was a big maybe.

"No, give me those memories, they are mine too, I need them, give them up." Jin said now, not really caring about his begging, not caring if he was hurt, because in the end, Seokjin deserved that, he deserved to suffer, because if he really did something bad that he couldn't even give up some memories then he deserved this pain.

"Give. Namjoon. Up." Jin said, again, emphasizing every word, demanding those memories.

"Why?" Seokjin asked now, he really didn't want to, those were the only thing he had left, those memories were his happy moments, those where his twisted sick reality that somehow made him happy.

"You know why," Jin said now, taking a seat down, on the black floor, that was as if floating in thin air, because it was that strange room where you had no idea where to go because it lead to nowhere, and motioning for Seokjin to sit down in front of him he almost smiled, and as Seokjin took his seat in front of the other one Jin went on,

"I know you love Namjoon," and Seokjin eyes widened,

"I can see it," Jin continued, smiling, and taking his hand in his he caressed it, almost feeling the warmth, "You love him more than me, but it's okay Seokjin, it's what makes you human." He finished softly, almost bringing Seokjin to tears.

"No, I'm not human," Seokjin said, his eyes watering, tears forming, "I love you, I have to protect you from evil, you're the only one that matters," he went on and then, as his voice was getting weaker and weaker Jin drew him closer, he took him in his warm hands and as he held him close, in his embrace, Seokjin went on,

"Even if I betrayed you, I betrayed our love," Seokjin was crying by now, his white tears falling on his cheek, cold and salty, "I'm sorry, Jin, I'm sorry, but, I can't give him up." And Seokjin was now turned around, crying in Jin's chest, Jin embracing him tight, whispering soft 'it's okay's' and 'don't be sorry' but it didn't help much.