The Worst Fanfiction Ever

chptr 9

"oh no itz bif tannin!" martey mikfly sed a lot scardly. "hes my mortel enimy."

"bif tannin, y do u need us 2 rob a baink evin tho ur alredy rich?" askd frodoh bagginz epicly.

"no im not dat bif tannin," bif tannin replyd with lots ov angerly. "im da por 1!"

da dokter laffed in gallifrehin.

"itz nott funy dokter," gumli sed. "never laff at por ppl."

"gumli y u do dis," darts vader sed confuzededly. "ur da most evl villin 2 evr eggsist.

"oh yeh," gumli sed, reelizing. "nevr myned dokter, u can laff."

da dokter laffed intencely, ekoing in2 da distince.

"lol," sed hermynee granjer, eeting mashd potatos dramaticly.

"anywai, bak 2 da point," sed bif tannin, holdin gandolfo at gunpoint evily.

"we need u 2 rob a bank," looeegee sed in italian, so ohnly mahreo culd understand him, and probly da dokter.

"but y do wee need 2 rob a baink?" askd harry podder not-epicly while bagpipes still playd behind him.

"becuz," darts vader sed. "i reely want an xbox 1."

"yeh," growld gumli.

"weer about 2 telepert u 2 da bank," sed da leedr eegl.

"no wayt!" yelld bif tannin wit furius vengunce. "i hav 2 do somthing."

"hey frodoh," bif tannin sed dramaticly and epicly but nott heroicly becuz hes a villin. "ur shoolais iz untyd."

"im a hobit," sed frodoh bagginz. "i dont ware shooz."

"dangit, da plan didnt werkded," bif tannin yelld quietly.

***
Den our heroicly epic heros wer telepertd to da strongist baink in da werld, wich dey wer supposd 2 rob so darts vader can get an xbox 1.

dey all walkd inside, gandolfo and gandolofo leeding dem becuz dey wer still da most epic on da epic leedrbords.

Dey walkd up 2 da countr, were a guy waz werking. Da guy waz jamez bond, wearing glassis!

"hey jamez bond," sed hermynee granjer.

"hey dont say dat so loudly," jamez bond sed darkly. "im undercovur."

"u arent doing a gud job ov being undercovur," gandolfo sed with intence furiosity wile eegls calld and rock gutars playd in da backgrond loudly.

"hey not so loud!" jamez bond reepeetd.

"srry, jamez bond," gandolfo sed sarkastikly. "i cant tern down my epicniss."

jamez bond gave somone hiz mony darkly. "but how did u guyz rekugnize me." jamez bond askd.

"u literally look eggsaktly da same eggsept fer da glassis," frodoh bagginz sed, about 2 eet a dohnut.

"no dont eet dat donut frodoh!" harry podder sed epicly. "fer all u no, dat dohnut culd bee gandolfo's grandpa."

"dat iz my grandpa," gandolfo cunfermd. "dont pwn him."

"fine," frodoh sed, setting down da dohnut.

"thx bro," sed da dohnut epicly.

"anyway," sed mahreo, lukily in eenglish dis time. "who did u get ur diskize lessins from, jamez bond? wuz it clerk kint, aka sooprman?"

jamez bond lookd awai sadly and darkly with a littl confuzd. "yeh," he sed dramaticly.

"well no wunder," sed skuldugger aftr not talking fer liek 2 chptrs.

"wee need 2 rob dis bank," da dokter sed.

"y?" askd jamez bond.

"so darts vader can get an xbox 1," sed skuldugger with a littl confuzd.

"itz a long storie," gandolfo sed epicly and dramaticly.

"itz ackshully not dat lon," admittd harry podder.

"shh dont tell him dat, we need 2 seem liek an epic teem, liek da avingers," gandolfo sed.

"oh, right," harry podder sed, trying 2 look epic, evin with hiz bagpipes and floots.

"imma chek ur ranking on da epic bords," sed mahreo, pulling da epic bord out ov hiz pockit. harry podder's rank was 999999999998, rite abov vohldemor's rainking.

"dangit," sed harry podder.

"guyz wee need 2 rob da bank be4 we run out ov tiem!" da dokter sed. "eggsept i nevr run out ov tiem, so just u guyz."

"oh ok," jamez bond agread. den he pulld all da mony out ov da vallt and gave it 2 dem.

"dere u go," he sed.

"thanks," sed hermynee granjer, giving sum ov da mashd potatos 2 samwhyze gamjy.

suddenli da dokter got a fone call. he talkd for 10 hours and den hung up. lukily sa polise didnt try to solv da baink robbry yet.

"it waz shurelok wholms," sed da dokter. "he sez dat mahreo haz been a bureeto da hole tiem!

oh no how waz mahreo a breeto da hole time! find out in chptr 10.