Remembering Us

This is a Tradition

I realized it as soon as I pulled into my driveway.

I saw Andrews truck sitting on the slab in front of my house. I feel bad for not being here but I quickly take back the thought remembering where I had just come from.

I rush into the house and throw my coat on the floor. My mom and dad and Andrew and Carson are standing in the living room. Carson runs over to me and wraps his arms around me. I don't hug back though. He notices and blushes and backs awkwardly away from me.

"Sorry." He says and I feel bad.

"It's fine." Why can't I just let him hug me?

"Where were you?" My mom questions harshly. "You had us worried sick." I should just tell them the truth but that would involve me talking about Liam's abusive father and I told him I wouldn't say anything. If that's what he wants, that's what I'll do.

"I went to Jazz's house for a little bit and lost track of time, and I didn't have a phone to call you." I say, "I'm sorry." My mom and dad seem to lighten up but Andrew keeps a hard stare at me. He doesn't believe me and I know as soon as my parents leave the room he'll question me.

"So if we call Jasmine she'll say you were at her house?" My dad asks and I nod. My heart speeds up a little as I try to be convincing.

"Blakely just don't do that again please." My mom says. "There's already been once where you left and didn't come home, I don't want that to happen again." She looks defeated and I wish she would just bring up Ben. It's obviously hard on her but she won't say much about him. There are no pictures of him. Its like he was never even here to begin with. It's like he was never even really a part of the accident. It's always "my accident," never Ben's. I am afraid to ask them anything about him. I fear that it will be too much for them to handle, almost like if I ask then they will finally snap.

"It won't happen again." I say finally and my mom and dad both hug me before leaving. I sigh as they walk out of the room.

"So where were you?" Andrew pipes up after my parents footsteps can be heard going up the stairs. I glare at him.

"At Jazz's house." I reply trying not to make eye contact.

"Bullshit." He says back and just laughs. "Your a horrible liar and even if you were decent at it you still wouldn't be able to lie to me." He starts and looks at Carson who is staring at me, "Or Carson."

"I was just bringing Liam notes from math today." I say casually. "Mr. Savage asked me to drop them off." I'm technically not lying. I was at his house, they just didn't need to know details. Carson seems to believe me but Andrew still doesn't look convinced and I really couldn't care less. "Are you going to get going or what?" I say changing the subject. Andrew just nods and he walks out of the room. Carson and I follow him out of the room and he throws an arm around me and I let him but I don't take my eyes off Andrew. What was his problem? So what if he knows I'm lying but why is he mad? If he knew about Liam's situation he wouldn't feel this way. Carson notices that I'm lost in thought and he holds me a little tighter.

"Are you ok?" He whispers.

"Yeah I'm great." I respond giving him a small smile. "What's the plan got tonight?"

Andrew slams the door to his truck and Carson opens the door for me. It's one of those old pick up trucks where it has three seats in the front and that's it. I sit in-between Andrew and Carson and end up scooting closer to Carson. Andrew looks at me and roles his eyes and I realize this is super childish. It takes him three tries to get his car to start and the first ten minutes of the ride is dead quiet and awkward. Carson leans forward to put the radio on but only to get his hand slapped by Andrew. Carson gives him a look that says what the hell? But doesn't actually say anything. Andrew just keeps his eyes glued on the road.