Remembering Us

Statement Making and Flannels

Sunday could have possibly been the most stressful day of my life.

School was tomorrow and I had to pick out an outfit that was right. What do you even wear to school after being gone for the first half of the year? It's like saying "hey I've been in a coma for 5 months but I'm here now!"

I walked to my closet and pulled out a few shirts and then went to my dresser and got out some jeans and leggings. Judging from my closet I was never a girl that liked to be super dressy. The majority of my clothes being jeans, leggings, t-shirts, and sweatshirts. I pulled off my shirt revealing a huge scar across my abdomen. I stop what I'm doing and slowly look at myself in the mirror. Walking towards it I trace my finger tips along it. I remember it happened in August. I remember it wasn't my fault. When I close my eyes I can hear the screeching wheels of tires, the bright headlights blinding me. I can also hear screams, I don't know who's screams but they haunt me every night when I sleep. Some nights I jolt awake, shaking uncontrollably, other times I'll scream and scream until my dad wakes me from my terrifying reality of a dream. Most of the time though I cry silent tears as I can't wake up from my nightmare. It's always the same thing, every night.

"Do you need some help?" My mom says quietly at the door. I snap out of my daze and wonder how long she had been standing there.

"Yeah, could you?" I answer back folding my arms across my stomach to block the scar. My mom avoids the topic and walks in and rummages through the pile of clothes on my bed.

"Do you want to make a statement or keep it casual?" She asks and smiles to herself. I look at her and role my eyes. She smiles and laughs to herself and pulls out a flannel. "How about this with just some jeans and boots?" She asks handing me the shirt.

"Yeah this will work." I said, "Mom what happens if I can't handle it? Like what happens if I get there and literally can't remember anything. How will I know where my classes are or the teachers names? I'll be like a new student all over again." I hang my head and slip on a T-shirt over my sports bra. My mom walks over and lifts my chin.

"I like your scar, wanna know why?" She says softly. I don't answer but she continues, "It reminds me that you are a survivor. It tells me that you were strong enough to over come this huge obstacle. If you can make it through five months of being in a coma I know you can go to school and be ok. Even if your don't remember the Blakely you were, she's still in there and I know that anything is possible now. I believe she will come back." My mom has tears in her eyes and she starts walking towards the door. "Diner will be ready in an hour. I made your favorite."

"What would that be?" I ask innocently. She smiles and shakes her head, "Chicken alfredo." I nod and let her walk away. Was that really my favorite? I pick up the flannel and grab some jeans and lay them on my desk. I have no idea how tomorrow will go but my mom is right. I'm a survivor, this is a minor thing.

If only I knew what was to come.