A Love Like No Other

Chapter 6. Unlikely Confessions

"Fenris..." I heard a whimper replace my voice before I could finish my sentence. My emotions were being toyed with, practically tugged in all directions but one. I tried to straighten myself up for a moment. "What about Isabela..?" I whispered, more to myself than to him. Suddenly he let my wrists free from the tight grasp he'd placed upon them. I watched as he paced back and forth for a moment before sitting on the edge of my bed.

"That's the thing Hawke.." He said into his clasped hands that rested in a praying position just inches from his face. "Is it really possible to love two people at the same time..?" He asked, and turned his head towards me.

"No." I said sternly. I could feel the tears in my eyes once again, but I could not let them fall. My tears were my dignity, and that was one thing i was determined not to lose. So many responses rushed through my mind.. As greedy as it was, I had to speak what I felt was right. "If you love one person and fall for another, be with the second, because if you had really loved the first then the second would have never caught your attention." I hadn't realized what it sounded like i was suggesting until after the words had already slipped off of my tongue. "I- I don't mean-"

"Isabela was the second." He said, calmly cutting off my words. "Your method is faulty."

"What...?" I murmured. Our fling was just that; a fling. I couldn't let myself hope that it had been anything else.

"Yes. Is it really that surprising that I truly did care for you?!" His words sounded so harsh, it was almost as if he had spat them at me. I couldn't breathe. How could I have been so blind?! The hints were there all along! The world slowed around me, as if waiting for me to take it all in. I watched as Fenris stood up and walked towards me. I couldn't move a muscle. My body gave in to what my mind refused to accept. I feared that what he would do next might lead to another affair, so I flinched slightly. Instead, he simply put his hand up to my cheek and comforted me for a moment.

"Hawke... I know I've hurt you.. Please forgive me.. " He whispered gently and stared deeply into my eyes. "I've ended things with Isabela."

I couldn't hide the shock from my face. All I could imagine was how awful she must have felt in the moment that it happened. I remembered her once telling me a story of why she didn't date or get into anything official that involved a relationship. She was once married; traded for a goat and some coin, and that awful relationship corrupted her image of what love should truly be.

"Love isn't for everyone. Isn't for me anyways," She told me.

Fenris was the first man to actually change her mind. He made her feel again, and knowing what it was like to have the comfort of his touch, I just let it happen. What was I to do? Isabela was one of my greatest friends in Kirkwall, and seeing her happy made me happy as well. Cheesy right?  I'm not sure if it was just the noble deed of being a some-what decent human being, or the fact that I knew how deeply love could make one feel, but something in me felt obligated to let her have Fenris. Despite my feelings for him, I cared more for the happiness of others before my own. Maybe that's why I preformed so many odd jobs when I first arrived in Kirkwall. Even if the jobs were unusual, they still made someone somewhere happy and that was enough for me. But because I  couldn't maintain myself when I was near him, her image of love would now be even more tainted than the blood of a Grey Warden.

"How did she handle it...?" I asked, turning away from him.

"It's Isabela. I'm sure you can imagine. I'll admit, some bottles were thrown at the walls, but it's not like that would be the first time my walls were 'redecorated'."

Why did it hurt me so much to think of her feelings? Why did I care so much? Was I afraid that this would come back to bite me in the ass? Maker only knows what I felt. So many things rushed through my mind. I couldn't think straight with all of this stress, between both Fenris and the matters with the Inquisition.