The Story Of Murder & Marriage

3: Arising Feelings

It's been a month of this.

Staring at her, taking care of her, feeling things for her that I shouldn't be.

She has consumed all thoughts in my brain, this girl will be the death of me if my feelings keep getting stronger. I was specifically warned by my sister when she left this woman in my care that I was not to do anything to her, but how could I. This attraction was totally one sided, she feared all men right now. In her mind I'm the man who takes care of her while she gets herself together. After the first time we met I told myself I wouldn't get involved with the trouble she would bring along with herself. I didn't have to ask her what happened but from the way she looked that first day and her mental state this all has to do with an angry abusive man that was in her life. This type of thing Doesn't happen to women without abuse, this fear that consumes her every waking second of her life shines brightly through her eyes. I could never fathom how it feels but in my heart I know that I want I help her. To keep her safe, happy, and sheltered from the world. But my brain keeps telling me that I can not do that, I can only guide her she has to fight for normalcy on her own.

Today was the end of the first month. Her progress hasn't really changed but now she gets that I'm not like other men. A couple of times I've tried to take her outside to face the real world with only a few men outside and she clung to me the whole time. But this is expected for only the first month and I have promised to her that I will help her.

Staring at her as she sits on the kitchen stool eating her breakfast. Most days she stares off into space but I've gotten a couple of sentences out of her Recently, they weren't about anything important but progress nonetheless. Making sure when I walk up to her to be in her line of Sight I sit on the stool on the opposite side of table, slowly getting seated I give her a small reassuring smile.

"How was your sleep last night? " I asked while looking at what she was wearing today and how she looked. When she first came to my house she looked pale and tired with red eyes and bags under her eyes. Today she looked refreshed with her hair back to its clean blonde color, the first time I saw her she looked like she was a brunette but after a shower her true color was back. All the grime and mud from her long run away from whatever dangerous situation she was in, must have gotten in her hair.

Looking up from her bowl of oats she returned my smile shyly, "yes" She whispered softly.

Nodding I knew I should have just let her continue to eat her meal but I had to keep the conversation going, "how are you liking it here so far?" Smiling even though I knew it was a stupid question, she was still kind of scared of me so I knew she wouldn't say anything bad.

"It's fine." This time instead of looking up at me she looked over my shoulder at something and she had a little smile on her face. That smile sparked something in my heart, like a light going off. Following her eyes I looked at the screen door I see a dog pawing at my door. This small town everyone has no concern for security so pets always manage to find a way out of their homes. Walking over to open the door the little dog runs passed me to run straight at the girl. Trying to catch it before it scared her I didn't manage to but when I saw her reaction I new it was fine.

She was already kneeling on the floor waiting for the dog to reach her, she had a beautiful smile on her face that brightened up her whole mood. Closing the door to walk on over to sit with them I decided to sit a couple of feet away to give her space. It felt weird still after a month to still not know her name, calling her 'the girl' was not going to work for me I needed to know her name.

Her laughter as she played with this dog was just so beautiful, that sound with forever keep playing in my head.

Making conversation I asked, "Do you like dogs?."