You're My Secret

Bruised and Scared

© COPYRIGHT

BE YOUR OWN CREATING SELVES!!!

This was supposed to be

the easy part

But breaking down is what

I found hard

Now I'm wearing this smile that

I don't believe in

Inside I feel like screaming

"Bruised and Scared" -Mayday Parade

"When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, Parker!"

My best friends voice rang out to me across the park.

"And let me guess your making gallons?" I smirked at him. Why are boys so predictable.

"A hot girl asks you to perform at her stupid underage drinking party and suddenly its the whole bands job?" I shook my head as I walked towards my bandmate. No way in hell are we doing this gig.

"Aww!! Come on don't say no! She lives two towns over! Not one. But two! No one is going to find out! And I mean.... So what if they do?"

This is what I hated. I hated this. Having to fight with the band about which gigs to take and if they were safe.

It's not like they would be in trouble if our town found out we were a band. We being my 3 brothers and my best friend Matt.

It'd be me. Weirdo creep girl, everyone despised.

I'm the one who gets bullied. I'm the one who gets laughed at. I'm the one they judge. I'm the one with the cuts.

"Who cares?! Really Matty?!" My shoulders started to shake and my lips quivered.

"Fine. You guys take the gig. Just count me out."

With that I turned my back and ran. Leaving my best friend and brothers yelling after me.

******************************

I remember the first time I came home from school after my parents had died. My therapist ( or mind friend as my aunt had called her when I was little) had said my mommy and daddy would have wanted me to be strong. So I went to school. Prepared for the comfort of my friends if things got to sad for me to handle. I remember feeling a little happy that I was able to do this task and my big brothers weren't. Thinking maybe I could show them the way. That maybe everything would be okay. That maybe I could help them the way they always helped me.

My parents were as in love as you could ever begin to imagine. Always touching, always in tune with the other. They'd met in high school in our small town in Freedom Lake, North Carolina. My dad had been Mr. Popular and my mom a nerdy book worm.

Everyone had been shocked when my dad took her to the prom their senior year. My dad said mom was his tutor for English and he'd never had paid close attention to her before. But when she walked into the library wild curly hair ,baggy grey sweatshirt and about to collapse under her own pile of books he knew.

"Knew what daddy?" I used to ask him.

"I knew she was mine, baby doll."

He told me it took many secret dates and stolen kisses but he finally won her heart.

Moms eyes always shined at this part of the story.

"You always had my heart Noah Parker."

Dad would laugh, one of his laughs that came deep from his belly.

"Really? Katie dear? Cause I remember at one time you accusing me of not being worthy." Mom would giggle, a sound that made her seem youthful and otherwordly.

"No baby. That was just to keep you on your toes."

The whole town was at their wedding. Cheering for them, most still astounded that Freedoms golden boy had married the towns teenage recluse. When my mother had my oldest brothers, twins Mac and Andy, people were ecstatic. Hoping they'd follow in our fathers foot steps. Which they not so surprisingly did. And then came my brother Dylan. And then me, the baby girl of the family. My mom said as soon as I was born I had my father and brothers wrapped around my fingers. Which was true. Not to sound skanky or annoying, I loved it, it made me feel safe and loved knowing all these boys would protect me from harm.

I remember my aunt handing me my brand new Scooby Doo backpack and giving me a kiss on the head. She looked around trying not to focus on the sympathy being shone in our direction.

"Be good honey cakes. Just call me if you want to come home." With those few words and a kiss on the forehead she drove away.

I had run into class eager to see my friends. Especially my best friend Amy, who I had met over the summer and we'd bonded instantly.

Everyone knew how close we were to one another.

"Hi guys!" I managed a small smile combined with a wave

The whole class stared at me. All going silent... In that moment things changed. In that moment, I believe a part of me changed..... Maybe even died.

As I watched my best friend, my pal, Amy look into my eyes and say

"Murderer."

OKAY....... OPINIONS....... ^_^

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