Summer Love (Short Story)

SL Part 5

SUMMER LOVE PART 5

SABRINA'S POV

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko napigilang huwag umiyak sa harap ng mga kuya at pinsan ko nung asa lake kami, and I congratulate myself for that. Tinatanong nga nila kung ano daw yung problema ko kasi hindi na ko nakikitawa sa jokes nila or nakikisali sa mga trip nila na usually, ako ang nangunguna.

Sabi ko nalang masakit ang ulo ko, sabi nga nila kung na engkanto daw ako kaya ganun ako katamlay bigla, Haha. Sana nga naengkanto na lang ako. How I wish I just twist my ankle than to feel this excruciating pain. I'll do everything just to spare me from this agonizing pain.

Pagkauwi, dumeretso ako sa puno and cry my eyes out. I know, isang malaking kagagahan ang pumunta dito pero the hell I care. I have nowhere else to go. Ayokong sa ancestral house umiyak, hindi ako pwedeng umiyak dun. They'll worry about me. This is not their burden to bear. Nahihiya ako sa kanila especially kila kuya, baka sabihin nila magsinungaling sinungaling ako tapos nung niloko ako, sa kanila ako iiyak. 

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal umiyak basta ang alam ko, tumigil ako nung wala nang lumalabas na luha at masakit na yung mata ko

At hindi ko din alam kung paano ako uuwi with these puffy eyes and red nose. Mahirap lumusot kila kuya.

 Umuwi ako sa bahay and thankful na tulog sila kuya kasi pagod. Naghilamos agad ako para hindi masyadong halata na umiyak ako at pumasok na akong kwarto and locked the door. And once I lay down on my bed, the tears that stopped a while ago, bursted.

Why doesnt anyone tell that loving is this painful?

Aren't there any tips or walkthroughs para sa mga beginners? Para sa mga tanga?

Wala man lang bang guide para sa mga first time pa lang to spare us from this pain?

It's torture. Kahit ga balde na yung iniyak ko, andun pa din yung sakit. Ganun ba ka unfair ang mundo para wala man lang warning kung gaano kasakit magmahal? Isn't it too unfair? 

God. If suiccide isn't a sin, I'll just drown myself right at this moment. The pain's too much to bear. 

Why didn't he smile like that when he's with me?

Why didn't he looks at me like that, like the most beautiful girl his eyes ever saw?

Why didn't he holds me like that?

Why doesn't his eyes sparkle when he looks at me?

And why he doesn't love me like how he loves her? Am I too busy loving him so I could not notice all this things?

I envy her, Mico doesnt hold me, kiss me, smile at me, and love me like that. I know envious is wrong, but I cant help it. How I wish I was her.

How I wish he loves me like he loves her.

 the last thing I heard was a rooster crowing before I drifted to sleep with my questions left unanswered.

--

A beep from my phone woke me up. I checked it and to find out that It's already past twelve. I try to remember what happened yesterday and eventually regret it. I can still remember what happened exactly yesterday. Every single detail, every single pain.

And by that thought, nararamdaman kong nagsisikip ang dibdib ko at nagiinit ang mata ko. Pinilit kong hindi umiyak. Ayoko nang umiyak, tama na yung kahapon. Narinig kong may pumipihit ng pinto ng doorknob kaya tumakbo ako sa cr at naghilamos. Pagkalabas ko, I saw Kuya Nathan na may hawak na tray at nakaupo sa edge ng kama.