Fight to Die (Harry Styles)

Twenty-Four

Chapter 24

• Felix •

I reach my study and see that Julia is standing silently by the balcony, her head in her hands. Simply by the way she is standing, I can tell she is distressed. This is not going to be easy. I approach her, standing next to her without saying a word. She knows I am here, but she doesn't look up at me. I don't know what to do, really, so I place my hand across her upper back. At first, she flinches, but she doesn't shove me away. I rub her back in an attempt to comfort her. I guess it worked because I can feel the muscles in her back physically relax.

"We're really doing this, aren't we?" she sighs, looking up at me with those blue eyes. I wish I could say they don't affect me at all, but they only make me feel worse about what I have done. She stands up straight, my hand falling from her back, "we're really going to be married and we're really going to have a life together?"

I sigh, looking out to the gardens below us, "I guess we are." Tell her, my subconscious urges me, but I can't seem to force the words out.

"None of this is up to you, is it?" she asks, and I am surprised that she has figured some of this out. That's pretty much all she needs to figure out at this point. Telling her about her brother and father won't do any good at all. She continues, "You don't want to be married. I bet you didn't even get to pick who, right?"

"I don't think he wants you to know the answer to that," I laugh nervously. She smiles, but I can tell it is forced.

"I think I would have preferred at least one of us wanting this. Now, there just seems to be no point at all." Julia looks defeated, now. She looks as if the breath has just been knocked out of her. I can't blame her, though. That is how I have been feeling in the last hour or so.

"How'd you figure it out?" I ask. What could my father have said to her?

She sighs, "well, I don't know exactly. It just seemed like he cared more about it than you did. Like, he was very insisting that it happen so I figured I would ask."

"And you're not mad at me?"

"Not really. With a father like that, I'd understand if you killed a man," she laughs carelessly, but then freezes. "I'm sorry, that was too fa-"

"No," I interrupt her. "You're right. He's very controlling, but I know he only wishes to help me."

Silence falls over us and I can't help but sigh. I know that despite whatever she claims to feel, Julia is going to be pissed at me. I mean, no one gets scammed and isn't the least bit mad about it. Not unless you're genuinely the most optimistic person in the world, which I know for a fact, she isn't. She's seamed kind of put out about the whole thing if I'm being honest. Reasonably so, but all the same, put out. I can't help but wonder what she actually thinks about it. What I need to do is take her some place private where we can actually talk. Maybe we can suffer through this together and it won't be nearly as bad.

"Do you want to do something spontaneous?" I ask, looking at her hopefully. I really hope she says yes. I've been wanting to get out of the city for a while now, and this is the perfect opportunity.

She lifts her head and eyes me skeptically, a look of complete confusion upon her face, "like what?" I can't help but notice the crease on her forehead between her eyebrows when she frowns at me, and the slight narrowing of those blue eyes that tells me she wants to know what I'm talking about. I have a feeling that in the next few weeks I will receive this look quite a lot.

I extend my hand out to her, "may I?" Julia's eyes dart to my hand and I see her hesitate. "I guess not," I say, not shocked, nor disappointed.

"No," she says, grasping my hand and pulling me away from the balcony. I follow behind her until she stops. "Now, lead the way. Let's do something crazy."