Fight to Die (Harry Styles)

Nine

Chapter 9

• Julia •

A few more hours pass and the party still rages. I find myself catching glimpses of the green-eyed man standing near the stairs. They are those glimpses that you don't realize that you are hoping for, but you secretly do, just to be reminded of the beauty encased in whoever you look for. That is the case for this strange man; I don't exactly know what I have found such an interest in him. I mean, I don't even know him. I don't know his name or anything about him. All I know is that he will be required to fight tomorrow simply because a very rich and powerful man has sought out to marry me.

Then the daunting realization hits me: I might have to see this mysterious man die. I try not be disturbed by the thought; after all, no one cares about the gladiators, really. Why should I? They are nothing more than slaves purchased to kill.

I want to slap myself just for thinking such a thing. These men may be slaves, but that does not make them any less of a person. In the end, they are all just like me and my own family. It's simply that I was blessed into a plentiful life, while they have been cursed into a life of slavery and oppression.

The only reason I thought to myself anything such as "they are nothing more than slaves purchased to kill," is because that is the belief of the great Roman people. Without accepting their beliefs or opinions, I cannot possibly hope to become a part of their society. The beliefs of the Roman mob are brutal and irrational, ranging from the promotion of murder, or the gladiatorial fights, to the acceptance of prostitution. I have seen many Roman temples. In fact, I saw one today and on the front steps were girls wearing all red with gold bells on their ankles, marking them as available for a temporary purchase. It disgusted me.

I don't want to be a part of something like that, and if that is what my culture is like, Id rather be rejected than promote anything so mortifying or repulsive. The games are supposed to be an athletic demonstration for entertainment, but now it is solely a demonstration of death. The temples are supposed to be a place of worship, a holy place; but now they are defiled with the selling of sex.

The world is getting worse; I see it around me everyday, but there is nothing that I feel I can do about it.

I leave the main room in which the party is mostly taking place and go to a quieter place. There is a small garden in the middle of my house and I have never been more thankful for it than I am now. The ceiling is completely taken out so that when it rains, it gets natural watering as well as natural lighting. It's quite a cool place actually, especially at night when you can see the moon and stars over head.

I sit against a column on the edge of the garden and lean my head against it so that I can look up. The stress disappears from my body with each passing moment. Slight ruffling of leaves is the only sound being made and I find it quite calming. A few minutes pass before I hear a voice behind me.

"You know," he says- Felix. "You're not exactly supposed to leave your own party." Felix walks around the column to stand in front of me. "May I?" he asks gesturing to the place next to me

"I guess," I shrug, moving over so he can lean against the column as well. He sits next to me and our sides touch. My heart rate increases with the contact of our bodies, but I do not move. He pulls his knees loosely up to his chest and drapes his arms across them. I feel his eyes on me, but I do not look at him.

"So..?" he says, not turning away from me.

I don't speak.

"Were you surprised?" he asks. "About me courting you, I mean."

I shrug, "I was as surprised as I would have been if it were anyone else."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. No offense, but I really don't care that you're the Emperor's son. I mean, you're just a guy right?"

After several long moments, he doesn't speak and I find myself growing ever anxious that I may have offended him. Slowly, I turn my head to look at him. He is looking straight ahead with no emotion in his eyes, but then again, there has never been emotion there.

"I'm- I," of course I stutter, "I didn't mean to offend you; I-"

Felix turns his head briskly towards me at which point he is now looking me directly in the eyes. Our mouths are only inches apart.

"Don't apologize," he tells me and I am again surprised. "You said what was on your mind and no one really does that anymore. It's kind of refreshing if you ask me."

Heat rushes to my cheeks and I turn my face away in embarrassment. We are now silent. A few moments pass and the silence has only grown heavier.

"Can I ask you something?" I question Felix, turning my face to look at him.

He nods, "of course."

I clear my throat an take a deep breath, "why did you choose me? I just don't understand."

Felix laughs softly and rake a hand through his hair, "I was afraid you were going to ask that."

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to; I was just curious."

"No, no. It's fine," he smiles. His smile is beautiful, but it isn't the kind that reaches his eyes. "I see you a lot, Julia. Just all around the city; I see you everywhere and there's one thing about you that I noticed: no matter where I've seen you, you had a smile on your face."

"I don't understand," I frown. He chose me because he saw me smile?

"What I'm saying is you seem to always be happy whenever I see you, and I want that happiness," Felix says and I swear I hear his voice crack. He turns his head to look at me and there seems to be a glimmer of emotion in his normally cold, brown eyes. It is a very small glimmer, but it still emotion. Felix's hand moves up to my cheek, the back of his thumb brushing my skin and for some reason I don't move away from his touch. Before, the idea would have made me feel the need to withdraw from him, but now I don't seem to mind. His intentions with me seem pure and genuine and besides, I'm going to have to get used to it anyway, right?

My mind is racing with thoughts of him and how all he wants is to be happy. He thinks he can achieve that through a woman, but that is wrong. Felix will not be able to find happiness in a woman; he needs to find it in someone he loves.

I see Felix leaning towards me, his eyes steadily locked on my own. My breath hitches in my that at the realization of what he is about to do. I want to stop him, but I am frozen. I have never kissed anyone before and I don't want it to be just anyone. And although he will soon be my husband, I am not ready to kiss him. He moves closer to me and I feel my pulse quicken.

"Please don't," I gasp in a voice so quiet it could be considered a whisper. For a moment, I think he won't heed my request, but I am proven wrong when he draws back looking rather disappointed.

"Some day," I tell him. "Some day, I swear it will happen. Today is just not that day. I'm not ready, okay?"

He stares at me, "okay."

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Oh dear... Can we come up with a ship name for them? Someone? Anyone?

Please vote and please comment!

I love you guys! (:

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