Fight to Die (Harry Styles)

Twenty

Chapter 20

• Julia •

I lay in bed, utterly exhausted. I know, in my life, there isn't much to be exhausted from, but that doesn't mean I can't be just that. Last night, my brother stayed up with me most of the night and let me vent. I'd say it was something I really did need to do. I didn't tell him about Harry or anything, but I did tell him about my feelings towards Felix. I almost let things slip about Harry and I know if I had let that happen, then he would most likely be killed.

Today, though, I am unfortunately burdened with the dreadful task of planning a wedding. I should be thankful because most girls my age don't get to choose how their wedding goes and perhaps were I in a different situation where I actually loved the man I would marry, this would be pleasant, enjoyable even. But no. I am stuck with a guy who thinks he can get anything he wants from anyone he wants. And unfortunately, I have no choice bt to follow the pattern of people that Felix has treated as servants.

My mother bursts into my room and immediately starts shouting at me words that I pay no attention to. How could she be so ignorant to how I feel about this? She acts as if it's the best thing in the world to ever have happened when really, it feels to me like one of the worst. She wants me to marry Felix mostly because of the power and social status that accompanies him. And if I cared about either of those things, this situation would be amazing. But I don't care about those things, not one bit. Power means nothing to me, but I guess it will mean nothing to me until I lose it.

"Get dressed, Julia! Felix has asked to see you immediately! Oh, this is so exciting!" she squeals like a little girl and I cringe. No one should be this happy in the morning. Ever. I slowly pull back my covers and lazily roll out of my bed and towards the dresser where my mother stands, looking through my clothes. She pulls out the yellow dress that I wore and Felix said makes me look like a potato. I only hate him even more now, being reminded of that incident. I shake my head vigorously at my mother's suggestion. I thought I got rid of that dress.

"Mom, please- just let me do it on my own. I can do it just fine by myself."

She stares at me blankly and then her eyes move to my attire. Clearly, she notices that the sleeves are missing.

"What have you done to your nightgown?" she asks me, sounding very angry and curious. She sounds as if she knows something she shouldn't. After I don't respond, she eyes me very carefully and after aminute or so, her eyes go wide. "What have you done?" she questions, fear evident within her voice. "Please tell me the rumours aren't true, honey."

"What rumours?" I haven't heard any rumours about me, but I can only fear what they are. Maybe I should have listened to Felix about never tlking to Harry again. Actually, I know I should have, but I was just so upset with him; I wanted to do anything that would make him angry if he found out. Well, there we have it: I'm an idiot.

"Everybody has been talking about how you are having an affair with The Celt, but of course, that isn't remotely possible. Or at least I thought it wasn't.. But it looks as if I might be wrong considering your clothing. That moster is the only person who could've-"

"Mom, stop. He's not a monster."

I don't what came over me that I would defend Harry first instead of myself. It would make me seem more innocent, right? It would seem to others that when I defend myself, I care nothing for Harry. But when I do defend him, as I have, people will think that I really am having an "affair," as my mother so rudely put it. Judging by the look on my mother's face, I can see that by me defending Harry, she sees it as openly admitting to this entirely untrue rumour.

The color drains from my mother's face and I can see her frail hands shaking. Either she's furious at me or, well, furious.

"Mother, just listen to me, okay? I'm not sleeping with anyone, not The Celt and not even Felix. I'm not having an affair with anyone. Sure, I've talked to The Celt a few times, but there is nothing happening; I swear. What you have heard are just rumours," I sigh and cross my arms over my chest. I hope that was enough to convince my mother. I hope it does because it really is the truth. I haven't lied to her about anything.

"I hope you're not lying to me," she grumbles crossly. "Both for your sake and for the honor of this family," she adds and walks towards the door way. "Get dressed," she says and leaves me alone. I am relieved to have her out my room and thankful to have her nagging come to an end. I used to love my mother, a lot. But now, I find that hard when it seems as if she can't wait to send me off with Felix. It seems like she is excited about all the publicity that is going to occur because of my wedding, along with all the money and fame that comes with it. She doesn't feel like this engagement is me being sold to man that I do not love, when that is exactly what it is.

I release a heavy sigh and prepare to get ready for a day with Felix. How fun.

A servant comes in to help me with my hair after I have finished getting dressed. She styles it quickly and skillfully without saying a word. I am thankful for her silence. I have a feeling the silence will do me good to prepare for today.

I exit my room shortly after, not really wanting to leave at all, only because I know what I must face. For several minutes, I wonder aimlessly around my house, purposely avoiding anyone that might come near. Eventually, I make my way to the kitchen and grab something to eat even though I am not hungry in the least. I just know that I should eat something.

While enjoying my small breakfast of an apple, my brother walks in and smiles at me. Of course, he has to know what I must do today.

"Good luck, little sis," he says, leaning against the counter.

I roll my eyes, "yeah, yeah..."

It becomes silent for a few moments and a question pops into my mind. Why hasn't my brother married yet? I haven't ever asked him before. In fact, I don't think he's ever even talked to me about a desire to get married.

"Antonius?"

"Hm?" he sighs, snapping his head up towards me.

"I just- I was just wondering why you haven't been married yet."

He nods thoughtfully, "well, Jules, I just haven't found the right girl yet. I want to marry someone who wants to marry me, you know?"

I laugh, "I wish Felix were more like you."

He shakes his head, "no, you don't. I'm a horrible person."

I scoff playfully, "you are not!"

He laughs at my response, "trust me, Jules. You would not want him to be a guy like me...not at all. Trust me."

"Whatever," I huff. "I need to go plan a wedding."

My brother laughs, "that may just be one of the strangest things I've ever heard you say."

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