The Little Rose (VA Fanfic)

Threats and... unleashed love?

RPOV
School restarted soon enough. And so did André chasing after me. But... I couldn't, not this time. I knew I should 'go out' with him again, just to cover my feelings for Dimitri. But I just didn't believe I had it in me to fool André— and maybe even an avoiding-me-again Dimi— into believing it was genuine. I mean, I still liked André. Just, now, it was more like he was a big brother.

"André, I refuse to let you turn me into something I'm not." I meaningfully gazed into his confused eyes. "I refuse to be your rebound girl. Got it."
"You aren't a rebound, Rosie," he argued with unshed tears glistening in his eyes. I saw his honesty, but I also saw his love for me was familial, even if he didn't recognise it.
"You're right. I'm not your rebound girl. I'm your little sister and it's wrong for you to want to go out with me."

Oh, the irony. Because of his age and status it was wrong for Dimitri to want to go out with me— even I realised how illegal it was— but that didn't stop him from kissing me as powerfully and meaningfully as he had on Christmas Morning and New Year's Eve. It did, however, make him have mood swings; one minute he'd embrace his more mature feelings for me, the next for days on end he'd fight them. It annoyed the shite out of me. But, unfortunately, I understood all too well how serious the consequences could be: for him and me.

Reluctantly, André stopped pestering me. But I always saw this look in his eyes, this look of pain and loss. He hadn't come to terms with his love for me only being familial. I somehow knew it would take a while for him to accept that fact. Until then, I was resolved to avoid him. Now I was behaving like Dimitri. Ew! I didn't like that thought. It tasted bad and made me want to simultaneously scream and gag.

Now, as for Dimitri, he was still trying to avoid me. Apparently, he either regretted kissing me or he was trying to avoid temptation. Because, sometimes— when I was certain he thought I didn't notice— he looked at me longingly and desperately, as if he felt as though I was a part of his soul he had to cut himself off from. At other times, I noticed he'd wear an admiring smile. He never did any of this during trainings, but before and after he'd let his gaze linger and his guard slip, just a little, but it was more then enough to make my heart do insane things and make my mind go crazy and my breathing hitch and falter and be problematic. Oh, I was in over my head with him. He was my guardian and my mentor— my much older guardian and mentor— but I just couldn't shake this connection we had, I could not reverse the addiction I had to him. And it drove me mad! I was thirteen, but god-damn-it this crush I had on him— which I refused to accept as anything more— had me feeling things for that young man I absolutely shouldn't know how to feel when I'd barely started my teenage years. I shouldn't be able to feel a spark between us every time we touched. I shouldn't be able to imagine life without him being agony. I shouldn't be able to know things about him he didn't want to know. But I did. And it scared me. It scared me so much.

Then came my fourteenth birthday. Lissa and her family spoiled me. André even gave me an expensive dress. Ivan sent me a grand in American cash and three five hundred dollar gift cards. I really didn't need them but I loved him for his generosity. Dimitri gave me a golden locket which opened to reveal a picture of us Dad had snapped on the sly; the picture he'd taken the first time Dimitri had read one of his Westerns to me in his bed in the old mansion. The other side was blank and I looked at him questioningly. He chuckled and shook his head. "You'll have to wait until that other picture exists."
I groaned at his mysterious response. If only I had it in me to slap him in annoyance.

When Spring break came around, I refused to return to Turkey. I refused to visit my parents. I simply couldn't deal with them right now. Instead, I stayed on campus. Lissa's parents had insisted I come and stay with them. But I wanted time where I didn't run the risk of seeing André. Actually, I wanted time alone, period... well alone with Dimitri, even just innocently.