The Lost Chapter

First But Not Love

       Hands were sweating and shaking, I didnt know what to do. I was walking thru Dillard Halls with my cousin ( she was a 12th grader) so I felt like I was the shit since i had someone who knew everybody. It was around lunch time I notice em he was tall so I ran up to em & said ," ain't you Tyrone" ? & he smiled & said ," Yea " so i gave em a hug & was like ," look my name Day see I know you cause of your homeboy, You might not remember me but we met a while back". He hugged me back & said " you cute but damn girl you tall". Soon as the bell rung I left & went to the library & guess who was in my inbox.Just take a wild guess !!!!! Yup Tyrone. I opened the message & told him he can't talk to me. That was the end of it or so I thought. I started seeing him around everywhere I went and noticed he had a girlfriend named Jasmine but we all know her as  Jazz, she was part of the cheerleading team. Everywhere I went they were always together but whenever he seen me he would run up to me. I kept asking him why are you running up to me all the time of you have a gf. That he needed to stop asking me to hang out with him and  telling him it can't be a us cause of my middle school boyfriend...He just wouldn't take no for an answer. It was Winter break & I got my first phone( yes first phone in 9th grade ) came in my inbox again I dont know if i was drunk, but well I gave him my number. We started texting & then he said something bout sex mind you I was a virgin at the time but I couldn't make myself look young so I played along. Knowing darn well o didnt know half the things he was talking about i wanted to sound grown...It came to a point where he told me he knew I was a virgin but he ain't care & like always I told em it can't be an us. I kept telling him I would tell his girlfriend & Chris ( the homeboy) but he didn't care told me obviously I didn't care bout him that much cause I didn't give him my virginity & he was right. I started building a trust with him I called him my diary I felt like I could trust him even told em bout my childhood something I didn't tell nobody not even my bestfriend. One day after school he told me to meet him & my dumb ass I did. We was together for a min & he kissed me walking home I told em to stop but I really didn't mean it. He told me he wouldn't hurt me but I just couldn't believe it. My first real kiss! I went home & thought bout it & he texted me & told me he was gonna leave his girlfriend but I told em no & that it was a big mistake knowing that I really didn't mean it but I was scared.. I told em don't tell NOBODY but he couldn't understand why but I knew It wouldn't be an us but he wouldn't leave me alone & then one day he grab me & said," I don't get you Day I wanna be with you man I care bout your dumb ass but you act like you don't see the shit I want you to have my child bra I wanna be your first everything dawgh just give me the chance Day please". I said " okay" not knowing what I was getting myself into.