So What? You're still a girl!

Everything's Alright

Raine's POV

Two seconds passed after I sat down. On the third second, Courtney poked me. On the fourth second, my despairing face turned to look at hers. On the sixth second, she asked me: "Are you alright?".

My brain rattled as I shook my head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Of course not.

"Not right now." I don't feel like talking much at all.

"Was it Alice? That's all I need to know."

"Yes. Now please stop."

"Shit! Fine." She sighed. "So...do you understand what's going in the wavelength unit?" she asked trying to change the subject.

I didn't answer her. It's a rhetorical question for me, but meant for anyone that's eavesdropping to screw off. It's a flawless trick, and it's saved us many times from ostracism in the class. You know, the 4 other smart kids that are nice enough to pretend that I'm not disgusting. I don't have enough energy to care for the other 17 kids who want to drink their life away.

"It was Alice. And then Nate." I explained to her.

"Nate? That douchebag too?"

"Yeah. He smacked me after I got out of the principals office for Alice. He's been expelled." It still hasn't hit me as reality though.

"Oh my god. Its about damn time. I bet your aunt got tired of the school giving him suspensions."She paused to lean back in her seat. "Expelled huh? Too bad the school can't do the same for that slut, Alice." There was a sudden pain in my chest.

"Hey. Don't call her that." We've talked about this before.

"Did you just seriously defend her? She attacked you this morning! Have you completely forgotten about that?"

"Have you completely forgotten about something else?" I asked flashing her a stern look.

Her anger changed to sorrow. A few weeks after we first met in 5th grade, we promised to never make fun of anyone suffering emotionally, mentally, or physically. It's one of the first rules we made in our friendship that brought us closer. Alice is suffering emotionally, and I try to think of ways to help her. Of course, knowing how brash she can be, it's difficult to even want to help. Especially after getting beaten up...on the floor.

"You're right." she finally answered. "I'm sorry." It was only when the situation calmed down that I noticed we had transitioned from whispering to yelling. If it were any other student, Mrs. Berrinaut would've yelled at them. Courtney and I have a special set of privileges in her class for being part of the honor roll-something rare at this school nowadays. Phones, arguing during class, and eating are some of the benefits available to us.

Sure this could be classified as cruel and unusual punishment for the failing students...if they weren't 80% of the student body. Plus, our school is in the middle of nowhere. News of our school rarely gets out to the public. Teachers can get away with certain stuff-as long as it doesn't involve violence, or harassment-by bending the rules a little. "Little steps to a big jump" is how my mother thinks of it. "If giving the 20% of honor roll special privileges is going to make the school grade average increase, then so be it. Lily's doing a great job managing the school don't you think?"

"It's just that..." Courtney let her voice drone down to a whisper,"it's really frustrating...the things she does to you. And to top it off, she can't be suspended, or expelled. All because Mr. Moneybags is one of the last leeches funding the school. If his little bi...his, oh-so precious daughter is expelled, he'd stop funding the school! Here's a better question; if he's so full of money, then why doesn't he make Alice go to another school? Why keep her here?"

"I doubt she can leave."

"What? Why?" A lock of her amber hair fell to the side of her face, giving her a disheveled appearance.

"I've been thinking about this for a while, and I've had the same thought as you many times. Obviously, Alice feels attached to someone, or something at this school. Changing schools will cause her to lose whatever she wants. And whatever it is, it's something her father can't buy for her."

"So then it definitely has to be someone."

"That's what I'm thinking." I tried resting my arms on the table, but a sharp pain in my elbows alerted me of a bruise from landing on the floor earlier. Bruises on my legs, Bruises on my wrists, Bruises on my stomach...bruises, bruises, bruises.

She sighed louder than I thought possible, and said, "That's not all. She attacks you, and then Nate attacks you. And then you act like it doesn't even matter. Like none of the things they do to you matter. Like everything's alright even when you were just attacked. I just wish all this suffering went away so I could see you when you were genuinely happy."

"You can. Just look at the year book from 5th grade, and 6th grade. I can't be happy." I scoffed. "The only way I could be happy is if everyone that hated me disappeared."

"Come on...don't say that." She put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

"It's true!" Whisper-yelling really puts a lot of strain on your throat. "Everyone thinks diabolical thoughts about me like, how I should just die already, or commit suicide, or something. So for one day, I'd just like for every assholes at this school to go away."

"And they will. Next year. Raine, most of the people that are assholes are in 12th grade. You're in 11th! By next year, most of these assholes'll be gone! You just gotta wait till then. It's only 7 months away." Her hand reached over to my other shoulder, and she pulled me closer. "Right?"

I looked up at her green eyes and nodded. "Right..."

"I know I'm definitely not in the same position you are, but you should learn to look at life positively sometimes. Think of it this way, Raine. Nate has been expelled, and Alice is getting yelled at. That's somewhat positive right?"

"I guess...let's just drop it for now. You ready for that physics test coming up?"

"You mean the one we've done twice now?" she asked, "I don't know, I don't think I remember my answers from the last test. Maybe I'll fail this time?"

"Maybe!" After that cheerful turn of events, the two of us quietly giggled for the rest of the period.