So What? You're still a girl!

Restless

Raine's POV

I sluggishly sit up against my bed-frame. The room is tinted red, splayed with light from my desks alarm clock. The time next to me reads 11:04 P.M.

Waking up from nightmares is never fun. Whether it's monsters, paranoia, or repeating memories, we all have something to fear when we're asleep.

Most people would expect me to have nightmares about the bullying at school. Instead I dream about my family and friends getting hurt because of my body. I've had countless dreams where I stand by unable to fight my invisible restraints as my mother and father receive a long death from a masked assailant. Sometimes I'm forced to watch Courtney get assaulted by the brutes of the high school, laughing at her pain and mine.

My phone vibrates, giving me a warning I woke up early from my sleep schedule. My watch lights up at the same time giving me the same notification. I skip the explanation button, knowing 'nightmare' isn't a reason for waking up on the health app. Forced out of my thoughts, I stare at the bright phone screen trying to think of what I can do to distract myself.

I have to call her.

Going to the dial up menu, I begin calling Courtney to see how the movie went and to calm myself down. It's possible she won't be awake at this hour. It is pretty late after all. The first call goes to voicemail, and I try calling her again while bringing up the text app. On the second dial-tone she picks up.

"Raine! What's up?" She asks hurriedly.

"Not much Court...just had a nightmare and figured I'd give you a call to see how you were doing." She's silent for a second or two. I can here her talking to someone in the background. Probably her boyfriend.

"Well I'm sorry you had the nightmare Raine. I'm alright just chilling at my house with Danny. Probably gonna go to bed in half an hour cause there's the club meeting tomorrow morning."

"Oh alright! How was um...Gangsters on Mars?"

"Gangsters on what Raine?" There's more mumbling in the background. I'm unable to make any words out this time though. I blame being tired.

"Oh the movie? Gangsters of Mars? It was pretty good. I liked the part where the gangster guy shot the last alien warlord. It was pretty cool." An unknown sigh is heard and I get the feeling I should leave them alone for now.

"Good...well I'm glad you guys enjoyed it at least. I was wondering what your plans were for the day after tomorrow? Maybe we can hang out at my house?"

"Oh, Raine I don't know if that's gonna work. I'm probably gonna be seeing another movie with Danny by then. Maybe some time next week we can hang out. Hopefully?"

I twist my hair a bit saddened by the answer but understanding her anyway. "Sure thing Courtney. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"See you tomorrow Raine."

I hang up the phone wondering what to do next. It's only 11:10. But I should at least go to bed by 12. I've been sleep deprived in the past. It's not something I'd like to do again.

I set an alarm for 11:55 and get up from my bed, moving over to my pc. In my free time, I like to play games and listen to music.

One of my favorite games is Monster Capturer. I like my character model not so much because she's a girl, but just because people online respect her for who she is. I find it kind of relieving to have the internet anonymity where people call me a girl through voice chat. It spoils me... it's a nice break from getting called it and he/she all the time at school.

The main premise of Monster Capturer is exactly what it sounds like. Go out in the wild with dangerous weapons, bring back monsters after capturing them with complex methods and get rewards. It's a good time waster that I've had for a few years now. The repetition can be a bother sometimes just cause I've played it for so long, but it can be a good grounder for my stress.