Irresistible - Lauren Cimorelli

Chapter 11

"But don't you get it?" I whisper, the harshness of my voice coming through. My voice turning raspy and uncontrollably wobbly. "I love you Lauren. I always have and-..."

"Do you not have ears?" She asks, clearly starting to get frustrated with me, her eyebrows now furrowing together which signals to me that maybe now isn't the time to profess my undying love for her. "I said to leave."

"But...-"

"Get out!" She screeches, tears now falling down her cheeks. "I don't want to hear an apology, Flo! If you loved me, you would've stayed with me."

"I want to stay with you now!" I hiss, my fists finding themselves clenched while remaining at my side. "I messed up okay? Bianca...She scares me. I tried dumping her as soon as we made up, and she threatened me."

"I don't want to hear your excuses, we could've found a way." Lauren shakes her head, tears now falling rapidly. "I loved you so much Flo."

"And I love you a hundred times more than you love me."

"It's not that hard," she shrugs before placing one of her hands on my shoulder, almost in a comforting way. "I never want to see you again."

"Lauren...-"

"I think it's time for you to leave," Christina hisses next to me, her blue eyes are daggers to me - once upon a time they were so friendly, and now I swear, if she could kill either me or Hitler, she'd kill me with no hesitation. 

"Can you just give us a minute?" I ask, desperation in my voice but Lauren turns away from me, not wanting to hear it at all; her back has never looked so disappointing to me. "Can you just look at me for a second? Just one Lauren. Just let me say something to you."

She starts to move, her giant brown eyes meeting my own and for a moment - I'm lost in them like I was when I first saw her. Nothing irrational felt, just pure admiration and fondness of the slightly taller girl.

I can't waste this short moment I have, I have to cease it with my two bare hands.

I grab her waist and pull her closer to me, our eyes locked - her caramel ones not daring to remove themselves from my own. "I was scared everyone would want a taste of you," I breathe hot air onto her lips, "am I crazy? Have I lost you? I know you love me but I can't help but feel this way, I know I don't deserve you after what I've done. I didn't mean any kind of disrespect, I promise."

"Fl.." She begins cautiously, but I cut her off but roughly placing my lips on her own, biting her bottom lip in the process; running my hands through her wavy hair which feels smooth and silky, I wish she could read my mind sometimes - then she'd know what I really want, which is her and only her. I've never been exceptionally good with my words. Her hips move to the rhythm of my heart to the point where I move my hands from her hair to her chest, careful not to hurt her or do anything she isn't comfortable with but this only causes her to pull away. "S-Stop."

"I love you."

"And I don't want to love you, I shouldn't of got attached to you."

"Lauren-..."

"I pulled a you on you, and you didn't like that shit." The words come out of her mouth quickly, realising she has sworn, she raises her eyebrows before shaking her head. "If you wanted me, then you would just say so and leave her."

"I never meant any harm," I try and clarify before tugging on her arm, but she just swipes my touch away. 

"Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance," she shrugs once again, pointing to the door for what seems to have been the hundredth time today. "Love and trust are gone."