FALLING IN LOVE AT A COFFEE SHOP | D.H [✓]

Thirty Six

My main priority today was to figure out my feelings for Dan. I knew I liked him, like a lot. But one of the things keeping me from saying the three words everyone wants to hear is my significant lack of having any romantic experience. I didn't even know how love was supposed to feel like.

What I needed was some advice and since I didn't want to call Grace and get charged for long distance, I would have to ask my mom. My dad was completely out of the question since he'd probably be that typical dad that wouldn't want me in a relationship in the first place.

I look over at Dan who is still fast asleep considering it's only 5am and I attempt to get out of bed without waking him up. My hope was to catch my mom before she headed off to work and from what I knew, I had an hour to talk to her.

I wiggle out of Dan's arms and thankfully I make it away without him waking. I head down the stairs as quietly as possible and find my mom sitting at the breakfast bar drinking coffee. My coffee addiction seriously came from her.

"Hey mom."

She jumps slightly, obviously not expecting me to awake so early. "Hey sweetie. Why are you up so early?"

"I kind of wanted to talk to you without anyone around so I assumed as early as possible was best."

"Alright sure, what do you want to talk about?"

I pause for a moment, trying to figure out how I was going to approach this. "You love dad, right?"

"Of course I do. I know we had some rough patches but, I never stopped loving him. That's the main reason I wanted to try again with him."

"How do you know you love him?"

She smiles softly, You're asking this because of Dan, right?"

I nod my head, "He said he loved me yesterday but I didn't say it back. I want to, I just don't know."

"Love is something you just feel. It's something you just know. Whenever I saw your dad, I had this indescribable feeling within me and after awhile I knew it was love. It isn't something you have to rush into just because Dan told you he loves you. You have every right to take your time in saying it, if he loves you as much as I think he does, he'll wait as long as it takes."

Once she mentions the indescribable feeling, I knew that I was feeling the same thing she described. Everything makes sense. I knew my feelings for Dan, it was obvious now.

I was completely, without a doubt, in love with Dan Howell. In love with his personality, his little traits, every single fibre of his being.

"I love him mom but, I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of him leaving me eventually. He's the first person I've let my walls down for since I was younger and I don't want to regret that decision."

"That fear is because of me isn't it? Don't believe everyone is going to make a stupid decision like I did. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do but now that I look back at it, I'm ashamed to believe I did it. Dan isn't going to be like me, I see how much he cares for you and I see how much you care for him."

"I need to tell him. He deserves to know my answer. I wish I had just said it yesterday."

"You weren't ready yesterday, you have the right to wait you know. He respected your decision, didn't he?"

I nod my head.

"Then why are you worrying? There's no need."

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I literally had nothing to worry about. Dan accepted me as I was. All my flaws, worries, doubts, he overlooked them and focused on the good aspects.

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and turn around to see Dan coming into the kitchen rubbing his eyes and yawning. The best part about seeing him early in the morning before he could get his straightener, was his hobbit hair. I wish he would keep his hair natural every once in awhile.

"You're up early." he mumbles.

"Couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to talk to my mom for a bit before she left. I was gonna come back up after." I quickly lie, well it wasn't a complete lie. I was planning on coming back up after she left, my motives were the only thing that was a fib.

"I've gotta get going anyways, I'll see you two later!" my mom says as she pulls us both into a hug before leaving the house.

"Your mom likes hugs huh?" Dan asks with a smirk.

I hum in response as I wrap my arms around his waist. "I guess it's a trait she passed along to me, plus her coffee addiction."

"I'm grateful for that addiction."

I smile as I bury my face into his chest, "We should just have a lazy day today so you don't bother straightening you hair."

"Really? You know how I feel about the hobbit hair."

"I like hobbits though. We can even have a Lord of the Rings marathon!"

Even without looking up at him I can tell he's rolling his eyes but still smiling. "Would that make you happy?"

"Yes it would."

"Alright then. Let's have a marathon with my hobbit hair."

And that's how we spent our day, curled up on the couch reciting lines from Lord of the Rings and often times missing the majority of the movies by staring at the other.