Fallen

Chapter 15

A month had passed and I was still with Conor. We had a few rough patches along the way, mainly due to some shit he’d done whilst being with his ‘friends’ from his gang but we eventually moved passed it. Me and Conor were good at doing that, just moving passed things; I mean, why waste your time arguing with someone when you would both rather be happy anyway? Me and Conor were getting more serious now and my feelings were growing for him more than I thought possible, I didn’t know if he felt the same way but I know that’s how I feel. I was going round Conor’s tonight for dinner; he said he was going to treat me and I was really excited. By 5 I decided to get ready so I had a quick shower, dried my hair and got ready. He picked me up at 7 and drove me to his house with his hand placed on my thigh for the whole car journey. We arrived at his 10 minutes later and when I stepped in I smelt the aromas of a cooking dinner. I moved into the kitchen and saw plates and cutlery laid out with a red rose in the centre of the table. Conor came up behind me and placed his hands around my waist in a seductive manor.

“I cooked us something special tonight,” Conor released his grip from my waist and walked over to the cooker, bringing out his cooked meal. I was impressed, it looked and smelt amazing. “You know, as it is a special occasion…” My face went blank, what had I forgotten? I heard Conor chuckle to himself. “I didn’t expect you to remember…it’s my birthday.” Conor chuckled again. Oh shit…How could I forget! Oh and look, he cooked dinner for his OWN birthday! This should be me having him round and cooking him a fancy dinner, not the other way round! A gasp escaped my lips and Conor came over to me. “Don’t worry about it! You didn’t mean to forget, besides, I have hardly mentioned it to you; it’s not your fault!” My hands covered my face. I felt like the worse person in the world right now. Who forgets their boyfriend’s birthday?

“Conor…I am SO sorry, I swear I will make it up to you okay!” Conor laughed again and shook his head. “I feel so bad right now, why didn’t you say anything to me about it sooner!”

“Because it’s not important! I’m only 19 (Y/N), not an important age or anything!” Conor shrugged his shoulders at me. “Now come on before the food gets cold!” We sat down at the table and both began to dig into the food Conor had cooked. It was so good and I was surprised that he had cooked something as good as this. Once we had both finished he took the plates over to the sink and then came back to sit at the table. He picked up the rose from the middle of the table in his hands and began twiddling it in his hands, being careful not to touch the harmful thorns on the stalk of the beautiful flower. “Can I ask you something?” Conor kept his eyes on the flower. He looked up at me when I didn’t answer and I simply nodded my head. “I know you hate talking about it but…I need to know.” Conor’s sad eyes looked up at mine and I cocked my head to the side in confusing. “When your dad died…how did you…cope?” Conor’s question took me off guard and I was scared to answer the question, not knowing what his response would be. “(Y/N)?” I swallowed hard before answering.

“The only way that really helped me I guess…” Now Conor looked up at ME in confusion. His lips parted to speak but soon snapped closed again, not knowing what he should say. I sighed and stood up from my chair before walking over to Conor. I was shaking at how nervous I was. I stood in front of him and my hands trembled at the hem of my dress. I eventually pulled my dress up above my thigh and showed Conor the faded marks. A gasp escaped his lips and I quickly pulled my dress back down again. A tear escaped my eyes and Conor stood up and pulled me into his chest. They were more scars I was stuck with from when I was going through a rough time after my father’s death. “It was the only way t-to take the pain I was feeling inside away Conor! I tried to stop but I couldn’t! I saw it as my only way of help but when my mum found me one day doing this to my body it made me see how bad it was getting. The look on her face, you should have seen it! She looked…torn…” Conor put me at arm’s length and worry spread over his face.

“Please tell me you’ve stopped now!” I nodded my head quickly and his face softened a little but he was still upset at what I had just told him. “I hate the fact that you inflicted pain on your own beautiful body (Y/N)…” More tears streamed down my face and Conor held both of my hands. “This still doesn’t change my mind on you what so ever (Y/N), my feelings have just grown even more as to how trusting you are with me and you know what?” I looked up at him through my wet lashes, waiting for him to speak again. “I…I think I’m in love with you…”