Just because your world stopped, doesn't mean the Earth stopped rotating. My friends told me that I must go on with my life. That I shouldn't throw away my dreams just because of him. Pero paano? Kung simula noong dumating siya ay nagbago lahat ng pananaw ko. I forgot about my principles, my priorities. Because he's the only one that matters.
But he moved on. He's happy. I'm gonna do the same.
I went to Jen's condo. She's the only person who knocked some sense into my mind. She's the only person who never left. I brought some liquors with me. This is gonna be the last time I'm drinking hard. Because tomorrow, I will finally start moving on with my life.
It took me three knocks before she opened the door. Her brows furrowed, probably confused on what on earth am I doing here.
"Hi Jen." I greeted her. She left the door open for me to enter inside her unit.
"What brought you here?"
I sat on her couch and placed the beers I brought in the table.
"Visiting you. Masama ba?" her gaze focused on the drinks I placed.
"Iinom ka na naman Klarissa? God! Di ka pa ba nadadala? Alcohol won't help! How many times do I have to tell you this?"
I chuckled. She acts just like my mom.
"And now you're smiling! Ganyan ba ang dulot ni Jasper sayo? Goodness!" I frowned. Jasper... He became unknown to me for the past few days. He's the reason for this pain.
"Sorry.. I was just..."
"Nah. It's okay Jen, I just wanna get drunk tonight. Last naman na, I finally decided to move on." Jen smiled upon hearing those words. Move on.
Easier said than done. But might as well try.
She agreed and then we started drinking. Ang gaan ng pakiramdam ko. Before, iyak ako ng iyak while drinking shots, but now, I could finally laugh.
I just have to admit to myself na he's never coming back to me. And that I should finally moved on. Acceptance.
We were sitting in her carpet sa kaniyang kwarto, chips everywhere.
"Remember that time that he courted me Jen?" I smiled at the memory.
"Klarissa Guzmaaan!" it was way back college, I was with Jen that time. Naglalakad kami patungong cafeteria when someone shouted my name.
I look around to see who called out my full name.
People started forming a circle. And I am inside of that circle. Wala na si Jen sa tabi ko, and all I could see is this guy, with his big glasses and messy hair, smiling at me, showing off his dimples, holding a pot of roses.
It was Jasper from the other college. He's popular. Matalino siya and an athlete too. Akala ko biro lang niyang liligawan niya ako, and it lasted for almost 3 months?
Palabiro kasi siya kaya naman I don't take his words seriously.
"Finally, lumingon ka din!"
"Huh?"
"Wala." he smiled.
Then everyone started singing. It was my favorite song.
"Klarissa, I know you don't always take me seriously. You thought it was all pure jokes, but nah. I mean every single word of it."
"Kahit yung part na sinabi mong pangit ako?"
That gained a laugh from the crowd. I feel my heart beating fast. I feel nervous. Why? Its not the first time somebody asked me. But this feeling... It's so new.
He chuckled. "Of course not, silly."
"Bakit ka may dalang paso?" pertaining to the pot of roses his holding.
"Uhm. For you."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Naisip ko kasi na kung bouqet of flowers lang, malalanta sila agad. At itatapon mo lang din. Eh di mas maigi ng ito na lang, atleast, this can grow, like our love for each other. This will be like our relationship, aalagaan, patatabain at patatagalin."
Jen laughed at that part. Then took another shot. Between the two of us, she's always the one who always get drunk first.
"Oo nga! Grabe noh. Never thought that he would change in instant right after his ex came back."
I took another shot of Jack Daniels. Yeah, hindi ko rin akalain eh. He assured me that I was his great love. That nobody can set nor tear us apart. He even gave me a ring. And I was so stupid for holding on so desperately.
"Akala ko din Jen eh."
