Unwanted Vows

Pearls

You grow up hearing that your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life. The flowers, the rings, the champagne and the cake. It's all suppose to make you smile, but to top it off you're marrying your prince. The prince that makes you feel like his princess. And you always live happily ever after. It's something a girl dreams of for years. Sounds like a dream come true, right?

But it was never my dream.

Never in a million years could I have dreamt of this. I never allowed myself to dream, and especially not over a wedding. All I wanted was to go to sleep at night with a full stomach.

I never asked for this, not for the dress or for any of it. Yet, here I am. I'm 18 years old and it's our wedding day. But nobody ever asked us.
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Effie insisted that Peeta and I sleep in separate rooms on the eve of our wedding. That it was against the wedding ritual to see the bride 24 hours before the big day. We tried to tell Effie that nothing but sleeping takes place. We're simply two teenagers with nightmare plagued nights, who find comfort in each other's arms. For the past year, I've refused to sleep without him. Not a single night. But she still insisted we sleep by ourselves.

So Peeta and I parted at midnight and we both knew that we wouldn't be able to go back. This day is something of a special event in the Capitol. The star crossed lovers are finally tying the knot, finally having a happily ever after. But happily ever afters don't exist in Panem and they defiantly don't exsist in mine and Peeta's life.

Mutts and bloody arrows fills my nightmares and I'm forced to lie awake, staring at the ceiling. When dawn comes and my prep team arrive, they are shocked at the bags underneath my eyes. But I know it's something that can be fixed with their magic and getting me to beauty base zero.
"No bride can sleep the night before her wedding," Octavia exclaims. "They're always to excited." She smiles at me. I don't have the heart or the strength to tell her why I didn't sleep. Only Cinna knows.

He looks into my eyes as he brushes a piece of hair away from my face. I hold back tears as he says sorry for my restless night. Today isn't a day of tears, it's a day of forced happiness. It's a day of forced vows.

My prep team wax and tweeze, and repeat the process. My skin is left a raw pink and I'm forced to soak in a bath filled with a thick, slimy consistency. Octavia says it will make my skin feel like a baby, new and unharmed. I shower off the bath of slime I soaked in and my prep team wash my hair. My prep team works wonders on me, taking me to beauty base zero and beyond.

I'm sure Cinna is required to do my hair and makeup a certain way, but if he is he's ignoring the request. I don't know what my wedding dress looks like, whether it's covered in feathers or draped in diamonds. The residents of the Capitol voted for my wedding dress and that became my outfit for the special day. When I take a look in the mirror I'm shocked at what I see.

I was expecting a Capitol makeup look, with purple eyelashes and orange lips. But I'm wrong. My makeup shines and glows with a surreal look. My face radiates and my cheeks are rosy and full. My hair cascades in ringlets down my back with a few curls pinned on top. I was right, my prep team could take away the bags.

"I wanted you to look your age. I wanted everyone to see that you're only 18." Cinna tells me as he unzips the garment bag. I'm mesmerized by my reflection and I give Cinna a smile. A genuine one, a real rarity these days.

"Thank you," I whisper to him.

He begins to reveal the dress and I brace myself for whats in store. I'm expecting a dress full of feathers and doused in glitter. Maybe even lit up in some way. But it's nothing like that. The dress is so un-Capitol. The creamy silk filled with pearls that flow down the front and side ending in a train of lace. It's beautiful really, something I wasn't expecting.

Cinna helps me into the intricate dress and buttons the 76 buttons going up my back. At first I thought it was a random number, but then Effie mentioned how honored I should be to wear a dress worthy of the games. 76 years of hunger games have taken place and they lay on my back. Each time a button clasps I can't help but think, 23 more deaths that year.

Cinna leaves the room and rejoins me with a small box. He asks everyone to leave and the room is quiet as he opens the wooden box.

"There's an old Capitol tradition, it's something that has been going on for years. Something borrowed, something new, something old, and something blue." I stare at him and wait for him to continue. "For your something borrowed." He says handing me a golden clip that is embellished with blue gyms in the center. "It's also your something blue." He places it in my hair in between the curls on top of my head and smiles.

"Where did you get it?" I ask in admiration as I stare at the pin in my hair. The mirror's reflection doesn't do it justice.

"Haymitch asked for you to wear it." He tells me. "Now for your something old." He takes my mockingjay pin and pins it on my shoulder underneath my curls. "And last but not least, your something new." He pulls out a small white handkerchief and shows me the corner. Embroidered in the bottom corner is PM + KE always. I stare up at him in shock.

"Who made this?" I ask in awe as I run my finger over it.

"Madge," he tells me. I nod my head and silently thank her.

"There's something else." He says with a sad face as he reaches into the box. The gold shiny crown he pulls out is known as my victory crown. The crown I wore when I was pronounced a hunger games victor. I nod my head and allow him to place the gold crown on me.

"Are you ready?" I hear Haymitch ask me from the door. I turn to face my mentor, the man walking me down the isle. I nod my head and take a deep breath. Deep breath Katniss.

We stand behind the door, waiting for them to open. "Don't let me fall." I whisper to Haymitch.

"I won't, if you won't." He smiles at me and pats my hand as the doors open.