My Self-Harm Story

Q&A

Here are some of the questions I revived from you guys, I only put 30 because I had too many coming in, I apologize if I didn't put yours in. Anywaysss here are my answers x !

1. How do you deal with pain without hurting yourself?
- Good question! Well sometimes I just write a lot then when I'm done I burn it, it helps because it makes it feel like your burning the pain. If that makes sense lol

2. How do you find someone who cares so much
- It's hard to find someone who cares honestly. But you have to trust yourself first and if you feel like you can trust them go on but just take care of yourself as well

3. Do you believe in God?
- Yes, but there has been time we're I've lost hope if I'm honest but I believe.

4. Why did you make this account?
- At first I made it to just rant but then it turned into a more " help account "

5. What's your biggest regret
- Not being able to say good bye to my brother

6. Has your family members found out you cut?
- Only my cousin, sister and now my dad which was pretty scary !!

7. Longest time you've gone without cutting yourself
- For about maybe 6 months or less

8. Have you ever told anyone that you cut? Are you scared of life ?
- Yes some people know or they found out because of my scars
- Not really, I was back then but not no more

9. Are you scared to be who you are
- Yes

10. Do you love yourself?
- No

11. How do you cope the pain?
- Sometimes I can't cope the pain and that's why I cut sometimes

12. Last time you felt like ending your life ?
- A couple of months ago. I had low days

13. Are you scared to love someone
- Yes, because it seems every time you love someone they leave you

14. Does you cutting yourself affect you?
- Yes, there is times where I look at my body and I just feel horrible.

15. How do you love yourself?
- I'm still learning myself how to love myself, but if anyone knows feel free to teach me lol

16. How do you make yourself feel better about yourself?
- By helping others or giving back, it definitely makes you feel better

17. are you happy right now?
- Yes for the first time in a very long time

18. One wish you could have?
- For everyone to be happy and be successful in life

19. How do you deal with other people who cut themselves?
- It's hard honestly! You want to tell them to just stop but you know how it feels to be told to stop knowing you can't. So I just try my hardest to be there & supporting them in what they do.

20. How old are you? (Random question I know aha)
- As of from yesterday I'm 18 years old

21. Are you still being bullied
- No, I learned how to stand up for myself in a way.

22. What's something you hate about yourself ??
- Everything but mainly the way I overthink everything
23. What's something you like/love about yourself ??
- Good question haha maybe my hair ??

24. Do u ever feel like cutting yourself just because ??
- Um I don't think so, in the past I have

25. What's the worst you've ever cut
- Once I cut very bad in my arm and it was very deep. I got a horrible scar now.

26. Why do you like helping people???
- Ever since I was little I always knew I wanted to help people, it makes me feel better, somewhat worth it.

27. What are some good and bad things about helping people???
- Good things is that I get to help people try to stop or minimize them from cutting and sometimes they do stop or cut a little now .
- The bad is that there is people I can't help and well it doesn't end good ..

28. Who do you miss the most
- Definitely my brother! Not a day I don't miss him

29. Ways to cope with not trying to cut yourself?
- Some ways is that I play spots and it helps distract me from wanting to do it, another one is I do a lot of writing if you can't tell haha. Somethings else is drawing and hearing music. It helps a lot!

30. If you could go back to the first day you cut yourself, would you stop yourself?
- This is an amazing question!!! Haha very tricky as well !
I'm not sure I feel like yes I would go back to the day and stop myself but then again because of me cutting myself I got to learn a lot about myself and who I want to be and become. I'm like 50/50 but thank you to the one who asked this question

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Thank you for everyone who asked me questions! It was really fun doing this, sorry to the ones I didn't answer.

Now for the announcement..

Recently I was going to donate blood, and it was something I was really looking forward to doing because I finally wanted to something positive with my blood. When I was being processed to see if I can donate the man that was assisting me told me to show me my arms just incase I had some kind of rash or something. When I showed him my arms he noticed my scars and he kept tracing my scars and it was the most difficult 2 minutes of my life.. He then asked me when was the last time I cut and I told him a couple months, he told me that because it was a couple months ago that I cannot donate blood.

In that moment all I wanted to do is just cry my eyes out, I feel horrible and I hated myself so much.  But I pulled myself and when he was done talking I waked outside the building and when into a room and just fucken cried, I cried so hard, my heart was broken and I was devastated. But I also learned something that day. The things you do will affect your future in this case because of me cutting myself I was unable to do something good for myself and for someone else.

Remember next time you want to do something, think about how it will affect what you want to do in the future.