My Self-Harm Story

Family

         I have a lot of people asking, 

                   "Where's your family?"               "Ask them for help"

                         "Why don't you tell them?"            "Why don't you let them in?"

       My family isn't the type to ever understand the things I do, they are more old school and more judgy. It's all about who's the best in the family, who's the star, the most successful. 

  I've always been told that I was the black bee of the family. For those who don't understand what that means. It's when your the outcast, the one everyone hates, the screw up, the hated one, the mistake. 

    Yup, thats what they told me imagine hearing that around age 13. What psychologically and mentally that does to you. Man that fucked me up completely, thats when I knew trusting family is out of the picture. 

   I remember once my father was talking about how people who cut themselves, people who have mental disorders deserve to be locked in a mental institution that they were just "crazy people" that they needed to stop acting and get their shit together. I was beyond vivid but I didn't want to get beat up again so I just shut myself up. 

   So yeah family is out of the picture for trusting about my feelings and health for sure. 

But just because my family is shit doesn't mean yours could be the same. Maybe your lucky to have a family that actually listens to you, takes you into consideration about you and your feelings. Take advantage of that because it's rare, very rare.