Closet Love

{6} What the hell are you doing

Brooks' POV
I knew I was always attracted to him.

It has been four days since I joined this new hell hole. The moment I stepped in this big towering building of unfamiliarity and loneliness, I noticed him.

Him with his unusually brown eyes which always seemed like they hid secrets of the world. Him with his deep blonde,almost brown mop of hair which crowned his head perfectly and gave him an adorable look. Him with his flushed cheeks and rounded face and jawline which made you realise that you were nothing compared to him?

And even though he was so perfect and adorable I knew he didn't know that. I knew that nobody had made him realise how beautiful he is. Every time I looked into his eyes I knew that behind his friendly,joking exterior he was sad somehow and that pained me.

Even though I know that looking so much into someone I've just seen four days ago is not normal, I just can't help it. I hope I could but I cant.

And here I am on my way to ruin everything.

Looking back into his eyes I can see the shock from the knowledge of what I'm about to do. And then this question hits me

What if he's straight?

Oh fuck.What kind of an idiot am I? What if he's straight and if I kiss him right now he'd hate me forever?

Our lips are millimetres apart. His breath is coming out in short puffs. I suddenly jerk in realisation of what I was about to do and hear a sharp voice.

"Hey! Whats going on?"
It was that blonde popular guy from school. Lucas' best friend, Josh.

Lucas suddenly tensed up and seemed to realise the awkward position we're in and pushed me off rather violently.

I felt a stab of disappointment but I pushed it down.

We both scrambled to our feet while Lucas jumped up towards Josh.

"What the hell is happening here?Lucas what were you doing underneath that fag?" yelled Josh.

Fag.

Faggot.

Anger and hurt fills me. Memories of screaming and crying while red hot iron was pressed against my arms and a heavier voice shouting "faggot. You're a faggot. A useless fag and disgrace to everyone. You are disgusting and shouldn't be allowed to live" resurface.

My eyes suddenly fill with tears and I'm painfully aware of Lucas looking at me.

Then I see a frostiness creep into his eyes and he turns to Josh.

"He just fxcking saved my life! You have no right in hell to call anyone a fag just because you wanted it. He pushed me our of the way of an incoming group of drunk motorcycle drivers! Not that I need to explain to you but I'm warning you Josh Whitley, never ever use that word in front of me again."

Josh visibly flinched at the tone of his best friend's voice. But fixed his composure
"Why? Why does it matter to you Luke? I'll call him whatever the fxck I want and you can't stop me. Why are you bothered about him anyway? Are you a fag too? Dont tell me you are on them too." He laughs a cruel humorless laugh.

I can see Lucas is trembling, possibly with rage and I have this urge to go stand by him. So I do. Lucas doesn't notice me and in a soft voice asks Josh.

"What's so wrong about loving someone?Why is it such a crime to be attracted to someone who is just as worthy of love as a straight girl or guy?Why does this world has such sick ideas of love?"

Josh looked quite taken aback and I mirrored his expression. Lucas looked vulnerable and hurt and I somehow got this feeling that this fight is something intimate and personal to both Josh and Lucas and I'm just a mere misfit here.

Josh looked down, clearly embarrassed and said
"Lucas, are you gay?"

Lucas' eyes widened in alarm and he frantically jerked his head.

Josh gave out a sigh and mumbled a 'sorry'

I cleared my throat to remind them that I was still here and needed to go home, or to Lucas'.

Both of them looked at me and I saw Luke's cheek tint a bright shade of red.

"Im sorry about all this Brooks, lets head to my house,yeah?"

I nodded.

"What? He's gonna be there too?"

I sighed and before Lucas could say anything, I said

"Yes I am you bloated buffalo.You have continuously ignored me and insulted me for the past ten minutes and you don't get a right to say what I do or dont or where I go. I have done absolutely nothing to you and I have no idea what crawled up your ass and died hut whatever it is, you need to suck up and stop acting like a brat."

I looked at Lucas thinking I said to much but all I saw in his eyes was respect. I smiled at him and he returned it.

"Brooks is my friend Josh, whether you like it or not.Now if you don't mind I'd like to go home and rehearse with Brooks rather than squabble kn the streets"

My smile grew wider as I saw a little bit of hurt in Josh's eyes.

He mumbled something inexplicable and started walking. Lucas also turned on his heel and started walking alongside Josh.

I walked behind them and looked up as the soft golden light of the sun spilled across the blue sky and smiled.

A/N
Sorry for taking so long, next time I'll try to be faster, I promise.

Comment about the chapter will you?

Thank you loves

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