Phoenix Moon

Happy Comes and Goes

  I felt antsy and annoyed. I was already sick of graduation, but I still had three hours before I was allowed to leave. I sat in a chair on the edge of the dance floor clutching a glass of sparkling cider. Lukah had disappeared, Jess and Kyle were making out in a corner, Kat was who-knows-where dancing with one of the boys from our class, and I was stuck lonely - in a dress - at an event that I very much did not want to be at.

I searched for Jackson in the crowd and was delighted to find him dancing with Jenna. They were both laughing, and unless my eyes deceived me, Jenna was blushing. At least things were going well for one of us.

My eyes found Andre, without consciously knowing I was looking for him. I immediately wished I hadn't when a girl walked up to him and asked him to dance. A smile lit up his face as he accepted. No matter how hard I tried I could never be that girl. He would never smile at me as if I was the only thing that mattered. He would never take my hand and lead me to the dance floor. And someday, when he'd given up on his search for the missing mate, he would settle down with someone, and I would have to watch.

   The girl smiled like a beauty queen and leaned closer to Andre as they danced. I stood from my chair quickly, so that I didn't have to witness any more. The tears threatened to fall as I escaped into the Main House. Ducking into an empty room, I let the wall hold my weight as I slid down until I was sitting. I held back any noise as the silent sobs came. I thought that seeing Andre would get easier, but it never did. It was stupid of me to let my guard down. I thought he was starting to care for me. My hope had gotten in the way of thinking clearly, and this pain was my consequence.

     I could hear people outside of the window, not a care in the world. I yearned to be like that for one night. I just wanted to go back to the way my life had been before I turned 19. Whoever thought mates were a good idea was a complete idiot. Either that or the Moon Goddess had made a serious mistake.

     I heard a door open and close nearby "Lily" Someone called out, and the voice set my heart beating. I prayed that he wouldn't open this door. I couldn't bear his pity right now. "Lily you in here?" This time the door he opened seemed closer. No. Please no.

Squinting through the dark, I looked desperately for a place to hide. I just barely made out the outline of what looked like a table. I lurched forward and tried to disguise myself as quick as possible, but it was too late. "Lily?" Andre questioned. I sat on my knees facing away from him. "Are you Ok?

Was I OK? The question nearly broke me. No I am not OK Andre, and I don't think that I ever will be. A shuddering sob escaped my lips, and hot tears slipped down my face.

He rushed forward, and crouched to my level. "What's wrong?" I couldn't answer so I just shook my head. "Please" He begged "Let me help you"

I tilted my head to look at him. His vibrant blue eyes seemed to glow in the dark, and it was hypnotizing. Even just being near him brought me comfort. He's the reason you're upset. The wolf inside reminded me. Stupid dog.

But the voice in my head was right. I couldn't let myself fall into him because it would only bring me more regret.

"Talk to me Lily." He pleaded. I shook my head. I didn't trust myself not to completely break down. We sat in awkward silence for what seemed like hours.

"Lil..." He said quietly, "There's something I want to try." He brought his hand up to my cheek, and caressed the skin softly. He positioned himself so that he was on his knees right in front of me. My heart raced with the closeness. "Please don't cry" He whispered. "I can't stand it when you cry."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to get control over myself. His scent filled the space between us, intoxicatingly sweet. His other hand found its way to my face as he pulled me closer. My breath hitched when our noses were less than an inch apart. Andre hesitated slightly before he closed the distance between us and pressed his lips to mine.