I Love Him... but only On My Own

Chapter 6

Robert's POV

"I miss you, Chun. But you're better off with him now. I just want you to be happy." I whispered while staring at her picture. I miss her so much and even after 3 years, I never stopped loving her. Placing the picture frame down, I sat on my bed and recalled the day that changed my life.

-[Start Flashback]

"Dear Chun,

Hi baby! It's only been 2 weeks but I miss you dearly. How are you? I'm not sure if you'll receive this letter right away and I'm not sure when I'll receive your replies, but always know that I love you and I promise I'll be back, okay? A few more documents to be signed and a few more interviews, I'll be back. Hope you don't cry your eyes out, heh heh. I miss you! I know I keep saying that a lot but I swear, that's how I really feel. I love you and I can't wait to see your freaking gorgeous face again.

Love,

Robert"

I sighed as I finished writing the letter and put it in an envelope. I really have to get going now or else I'll be late for my interview. I'll just stop by the post office on the way. I stood up from my chair, wore my jacket and headed down stairs. As I was about to exit through the front door, my father called me.

"Robert!"

"Yes, father?"

"Come here for a moment, please."

I made my way back to the living room and I found my father sitting on the couch holding a letter. He wore an expression that was composed of...frustration and concern? I gave him a look but he ordered me to sit facing him.

"Have you received any letters from Chun Hua yet?" he asked me directly and I grew even more confused.

"Not yet, dad. But I know they're coming soon."

Father shook his head at me and gave me the envelope.

"I'm sorry for reading that, son, but...uh, I can't tell you this. Just read it for yourself."

I did as I was told and let my eyes scan the page. It was typewritten and it was from Chun. I grew excited but also, something confuses me. Why didn't she write this in her beautiful, flowing hand-writing? I chuckled a bit. Perhaps she already learned how to use the typewriter.

"Robert,

I don't know where to start. I really thank you for all the good memories we shared together and I will treasure them forever. But, they're just that. Memories. I'm sorry, Robert. I'm sorry for being unfair to you. Look, it all started the day you told me you were to leave. Remember how shocked I was but you kept telling me that it's all okay? That night, as you were doing your night shift at the small café, I made my way towards the park near our house. I kept crying my eyes out and I know that you'll think of me as a cry-baby, but I was scared, Robert. What if you never came back? As I was crying on the swing, this man---his name is Wei---approached me. Even though I was a complete stranger, he did his best to try and stop me from crying. He offered me his handkerchief, made silly faces to make me laugh (and it worked, by the way) and he even brought me to an ice cream shop and treated me with a sundae. We instantly became friends. Every night when I'm not with you, we would hang out in the park. 3 days before you were to leave, as we were hanging out and eating ice cream, I told him that you were leaving. He embraced me and told me that he was always there for me. That hug made me feel something that I never felt with you. He walked me home and right before I entered that gate, he kissed me. And I kissed him back. I know I'm being unfair to you that time, Robert, but it felt good with him. It felt so right even though it's not because I'm with you. And that night as I laid in my bed, I decided. I love him. I've realized that what I felt with you was nothing but mere attraction. I love him, I love Wei. Please understand Robert. You were special to me. And I'll never forget you. Please be happy for me. And I know that you'll meet your special someone there in America.

Chun"

I sat there in complete shock and when I saw a drop on the letter, I realized I was crying. I wiped my tears and stood up, my back tensed with frustration.

"Son, I'm sorry. I don't know how it feels to be left by the one you love but I understand that it hurts."

"Father, it hurts. It hurts." I told him as I cried on his shoulder. I was still holding the letter while my father tried to comfort me.

-[End Flashback]-