UnEvLo (Unconditional Everlasting Love)

Chapter 79

Alicia's POV

You can do this. Yes, you can do this Alicia.

I repeat in my head as I try to breathe and even my breathing. I have been walking in the doorway like a lunatic from the past two hours. My legs shake with every move and my heart beats frantically. I rub my hands together to warm them but they are getting colder and colder. I stop walking and close my eyes as I gulp the dryness in my mouth.

Think about your mother. Think about Angel. They are as much important as him. They are family. Do it for them. You can do this.

I bite my lower lip as I avoid the lump forming in my throat. I avoid the sickening feeling in my stomach. I reach for my hips, squeeze them in my hands and straighten up my body as if to let the tension flow down my legs and seep in, inside the deepest parts of the floor never to come back again.

Nothing worked. Nothing could work for me in this horrible situation. Situation where I can't choose. Situation which tells me my life is close to an end.

"He's coming." I snap my eyes towards the voice as my breathing picks up terribly.

Why couldn't you just not come? I grimace as everything in me starts to weaken.

Rick stands in front of me, his face emotionless. It is flicking between emotions and impassivity I couldn't quite figure out because my mind is waggling with all possible worst things that are going to happen.

He is going to hate you. Most probably kill you for the betrayal. He is never going to look at you again.

My eyes water.

"He's coming, Alicia." I, yet again, watch stupidly at Rick as he repeats his words. I couldn't get myself to speak. I am not able to.

Rick is staring at me with sympathy. Staring at the poor, helpless girl who is losing from all sides.

I want to disappear. I want to disappear into the floor where I'm standing, right under me. I don't want to do this.

"I told John to tell Zayn that you called him here." He tells me quietly walking slowly towards me. He's looking at me, begging me to speak something.

What am I doing?

I'm standing frozen on my place. I'm looking at Rickard and feeling my eyes burn with tears. I fist my hands and roll my tongue inside my mouth to push the pain away. I look up to contain back all those painful tears before inhaling sharply. I feel the air burn everything inside me. I'm not liking the oxygen passing through me letting me to breathe, keeping me alive.

I want to die.

I hear the familiar footsteps. They sound happy.

Happy...

My heart sinks down to floor and my neck feels blocked.

He must be thinking about the meet positively. He must be hoping for us to get back together. But he doesn't know I'm going to break him more. Not heal him.

My lips quiver.

So much to control. So much to forcefully drink inside. It's all too heavy. I feel like I'm going to puke my blood any moment.

Don't come inside, Zayn.

I pray silently while my eyes look at sad face of Rick, my ears concentrating on those cheerful footsteps coming closer and closer with every passing moment.

Rick steps closer. I close my mouth and glue my lips in straight line. I feel yuck already.

He moves enough closer that I can smell him. His ugly smell.