UnEvLo (Unconditional Everlasting Love)

Chapter 77

Alicia's POV

Listening to the thud sound of him falling down, I'm on my knees too. Finally, a muffled sound leaves my mouth which I was holding the whole time, the sound filled with remorse and hate towards myself. Head is pounding with great, great grief of losing him.

"Partner, come back please." He cries. I could clearly hear and feel his deep cut breaths, struggled breathing as if his heart is stopping.

You are my heartbeat....

Tears roll down my eyes as I sob. I pull my knees to my chest. Memories are so strong, so vulnerable that they tear me apart.

Where am I? What am I doing? I have no idea. All I know is the blurriness of a poor bad Monday morning. The road is empty and my lifeless body is balled up in the corner beside a dumpster.

Dumpster. I feel like trash without him.

A black bird, a crow is sitting on a wire, his eyes watching me, scrutinizing my helpless messed-up dull self.

It feels like world is mocking me, reminding me after every second, again and again that I lost him.

"He was my support." My eyes fill up with water as I press my lips together.

He was the one, the only one who loved me, gave me happiness, mended my broken heart.

And I hurt him.

I start crying. Really crying.

Dumping my head on my knees, I squeeze myself. I feel feverish. I feel like murdering myself right now.

Zayn... Mum... Angel.... I have nothing right now. I have no purpose of living.
My loved ones are getting hurt and I'm the only reason.

I weep and cry more hearing his strangled little moans. I sob deeply, knowing I'm at fault. This all is happening because of me.

No me equal to everyone's happiness.

I should be going away. I should be walking far away from his house.

But I can't move. His sniffed voices are not allowing me to move. I want to go back to him. Tell him I'm his. Tell him how much I love him. Hold him in my arms and kiss all the pain away.
"I won't hurt you again, please come back. I will do what you say, I'll do anything, partner. Please come back to me. Don't leave me." He talks in air. With who? Alone? With his broken heart?

I feel like dying. As if someone is blocking my windpipe. So much pressure, so much pain. The world is revolving, vision seems to black out.

I cough, I choke as I cry. Never had I seen him this broken. Never had I seen him so dependent on something. On someone. On me?

What good had I ever done to him? He is the one who was always good to me, always saved me from all the problems.

"I'm sorry." I whisper alone. It's not bearable to see him like this. It's so uncomfortable, so fucking awful.

It's me. I, the one who would do anything to see him happy, became the one who made him weak. It's not--

"Zayn!"

I gasp as I hear Uncle George's voice. I move my numb hands as I clutch the wall behind me and scoots closer towards the end of the corner. I place my swooning head on the wall as I try to hear more clearly.

I hear his rushed footsteps coming closer. Closer to Zayn.

"My child, what is wrong? Don't cry my lovely child. Tell me what is wrong." I bit my lip hearing uncle's panicked, laced-with-shock voice.