My hands were shaking. I was crying. The blood was running. I sat in the bathroom floor. I had a towel, a bottle of water, a razor, peroxide, alcohol, and disinfectant in a row. I made one last cut in my wrist. It was the deepest one. I let the blood run until it dried. My body was numb. My thought process came to a hault. I grabbed the bottle of water and dumped a little in my arm. It stung.but, washed a percentage of the blood off. I then dried it off. I then put some peroxide on it to clean it. That stung. A lot. But, I sucked it up. The for the last dose of pain that would last me through the night. I put about a milliliter of alcohol in a container and dumped some on the slits. "Fuck" I swore under my breath. I then went through the process without the alcohol again, sprayed the disinfectant and dried it. I made sure I had clean sheets so nothing got into the fresh wounds. I turned on my cd and turned my lights off. The cuts stung. I laid right in them. I deserved every bit of pain I've given myself. I thought about my day in the dark. I decided I would suck it up and go to school tomorrow. Ill just get more torment if I don't. I hummed under my breath until I fell asleep.
I slept in the next morning, my house was ident. I was almost scared the house was so quiet. I got up and dressed myself. I put in a black hair of leggings. Moccasins and a long sleeved shirt. I made sure it covered my wrist 100% . No one was home so, I had my neighbor, Stacy drive me to school. I'm pretty sure she sensed something was wrong. She seemed worried about dropping me off. I told her I would be fine. Even I knew I was lying. I walked into school. I was at fourth period. French with Lacey. Great. My teacher Madame Smith wasn't in. So we were watching a movie.. Even though it was dark, I could still feel the sets of eyes on me and the whispers every other minute. I had never gotten out of my seat get of a class like that before. Next thing I knew it was seventh period. I was shaking. My body was shuddering. I ran to the library and hid in the back with a book. I read. The book I was reading was horrible. But, I had to finish it. The bell rang and I went to study hall. I read in study hall too. I finished the day with home ex and ran to Stacey's car after the bell rang, " Stace. Where the fuck are my parents?" I groaned. I was worried sick all day. " hey! You're only fifteen. Not using that language with me. But, they had to go Somme where. Neither of them gave me details. They just asked me to have you stay with me, so, well pick some of your things up and you can stay in the guest room. " what the Rick, my parents had never been the type of people to get ip and leave without telling me. I went inside with Stacey. Stacey was taller than me. By a lot. She had long blonde hair and looked like Barbie. She was probably in her thirties. She has a husband, and was supposed to have a kid. But, she had a miscarriage. So, now she treats me like her own. We grabbed my clothes, makeup, school supplies, and brought it to her house. She helped me unload my springs into my huge new room. It was a dark blue. It's was beautiful. I curled up into the huge bed. And woke up to Stacey yelling at me to get up. " Natalia Chastity Rose. Your wrist! What did you do?" She sounded so frightened she started to cry. I realized i fell asleep in a tank top. I hoy up to hug her. She was so upset. " Stacey, it's okay. It's over with, I'm fine. There's no more. Okay? I, fine. I swear" she nodded, wiped her eyes and kissed my forehead. She shut the door behind her as I fell back asleep. My cracked phone went off before bed. I got a text. It was a text from Lacey.
