"It's my realize, I've never been close to my parents, or anyone for that matter. I found it through media. And once I tried it I was hooked. I love it, sadly. I get an adrenaline rush when I hold a blade in my hand. The numbness when you bleed makes your emotions, and worries, or anything just... Stop. They just stop. All you think about it watching the blood.
Some people self harm as a form of self hatred. I used to. I hate myself. I think I'm disgusting. I'm Impossible to love you see. Soon enough, you can't live without it. You have cutting withdrawals. Or burning withdrawals and you go insane until you do it. I tried to stay clean. Hard. But, when my scars were fading I lost it. I didn't know what to do. They're a part of me. I'm lost without them. I wish I could stop. But, I can't. I don't know, lace. I'm just trying." Lacey leaped across end her bed and wrapped her arms around me. We just stayed there for a minute. It turned into twenty. By the time we let go we had both been crying like babies. "I'm so sorry for everything I put you through, Talia. I really am. I never knew how much you were going through, I was immature. I thought your pain was funny. You're such an amazing person. And I'm glad were past all of that. I hope we turn out to be as close as I think we could be." I smirked. Lacey looked around. "Do you hear that noise?" I shook my head. We talked about our plans for the night. Lacey and I ran to her her closet to find an outfit. My phone kept going off. We ignored it for a while. Finally I went to check it. I had like 20 messages from Connor. The most recent. " Talia, please call me. Please. Hurry, please." I was scared. What was going on? I called Connor. It rung for what seemed like forever. " Talia! Why didn't you call me?! You had me so worried!" He sounded so excited to hear from me. " Connor, what are you talking about? Are you okay?....." I was so confused. "I heard you, Natalia. I know what you and Lacey were talking about. You called me on accident and I answered it, I heard it all. All of it." He sounded stern. " all of what Connor." I was shaking. What had he heard? I was done. " I know you cut. I want to talk to you. Tomorrow is Friday, after school. Walk home with me. We'll have a movie date and talk. " he said happily. "Promise. Me and and Lacey are going out for a bit, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night." I whispered. "Goodnight, talia. Sleep well." And we hung up. With that, me and Lacey went to go shopping, to eat & to my house to get my stuff for the night. Stacey was really happy to see I was finally interacting with someone, and not complaining about how much I hate them. Me and Lacey laughed ourselves to sleep that night. I really think that was when I met my best friend.
