kitten // Jisol

0.1

WARNING: SELF HARM MAY BE TRIGGERING
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Joshua's POV

        It was February 18, the worst day of my life. I'm lying on the couch eating ice cream. The boys wanted me to go with them to the party but I denied. I couldn't face him or his terrible girlfriend.

"We're back." said the boys walking in the door. There he is, the boy I love with the evil witch of the west next to him. "Hey, Joshua why didn't you come with us?" Said Hansol. I started blushing so I looked down. " I didn't feel so good" I said. "Ok...well I hope you feel better.

His girlfriend, Jessica, looked at me with disgust. I'm gay and I came out a few months ago and not everyone is so happy about it.

    I head up to my room. Thankfully no one is in here. I grab a book and start "reading".

    "How the heck does Hansol get a girlfriend like that?" I thought to myself. I hear the door slam outside in the hallway. That means Jessica is staying the night to "sleep" in Hansol's room.

      I hear Mingyu yell out "Dinner time" from downstairs. There is no point to go down if you don't eat anything. I'm trying to be skinny just like all the other members. I go downstairs anyway and I say "I'm not really hungry" "You haven't ate anything how are you not hungry?" S.Coups says "I ate earlier" "okay if you say so".

I run up the stairs to the bathroom. I sat down and got out my razor. "worthless" "fat" "fag" the voices scream. I just want to be normal, not a freak. I start crying. The tears slide down my face to my arm.

      I get out of the bathroom and I start heading back to my room. Someone grabs my arm and yanks me. I whimper.

And turn around to see who it is. It's S.Coups. "Joshua you been acting weird lately what's going on" " I'm fine," I say "Ok...why are your eye puffy and red it looks like you've been crying" he says "It's just allergies" I say. He looks convinced so he let me go and leaves.

Vernon's POV

      It's my birthday today so we had a party. I invited the members and my girlfriend. Joshua said he didn't feel so good so he stayed back in the dorms. I was really disappointed that he couldn't come.

     After I ate dinner with the guys I ask Woozi "hey do you know where Joshua is?" He said, "I saw him go up stairs". I said thanks and headed up stairs.

       I looked in his dorm and didn't see him. I went to check the other rooms but I heard noises coming from the bathroom. It sounded like someone crying. It can't be him I mean he always looks happy but lately he's been acting weird. The only time I've seen him cry was during the seventeen project. I just wanted to hold him and-  what am I talking about I have a girlfriend for god's sake.

       I ignore the sounds and headed downstairs. I sit on the couch next to Jessica. She gives me a kiss and cuddles next to me. When I kissed her I didn't feel anything. There was no spark or any butterflies. She smells like coffee and make up gross. I fell asleep on the couch thinking about Joshua.
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ok that wasn't very long sorry and sorry if it's really bad see you guys later bye dumplings